Bomb Culture

This is the End, Beautiful Friends, The End.

2010-07-27T09:41:00.002+01:00

It must be fairly obvious to anyone who has glanced past these pages in the past year thart absolutley fuck all has been going on with Bomb Culture and so as all things must end, it is time for the finale of BC.
We've had five (or is it six years) of beats and bouncy toons but due to a case of Musical Indifference, the Big Old BC has decided to call it quits. The moooooozic is still available all over the net and we'll be putting up a few as yet unrealeased tracks in the near future, but our last major sign off will be as part of the Soundtrack to British independent film The Oracle, so keep your peepers peeled for that when it comes along.
In the next month or so, this here blog will transmogrify with a shiny new face lift as we begin to throw articles at you as well as other shit based on un-informed personal opinion and ranting hatred of right wing values. An original idea on the internet, I'm sure you will agree.
So for now let's not say goodbye, just perhaps fuck off and thanks for not coming to any gigs or butying any tracks (unless of course you did, then thank you, you lovley piece of ass).

BOMB CULTURE - Thank you and goodnight
x

NEXT GIG!!

2010-01-19T20:45:00.003Z

Giggae!!!!

2009-11-19T15:32:00.002Z

After many a moon of being trapped underneath a heavy weight, Bomb Culture are emerging back into the sunny sunshine of Gig Land!!! With the oh-so close arrival of the new LP and BRAND NEW VIDEO (Big up to everyone who came along last Saturday night to help make it happen by the way)..The Big Old BC are super-dooper happy to announce....

Le Pub.....Newport....December 11th 8.30 -2.......

With massive support from the GLC Supporting No Sleep Police, The screaming balck meatl of Fourth Autmn and the blissed out dance vibe of Project Serpo!!!!!!

Get thy arse down there people and we'll br right back with more news....

Bomb Culture - Sucking it down so you don't have to

Squidly Didly

2009-09-15T11:00:00.005+01:00

Nothing new to report on the band front so here’s some blathering on about nothing to fill the void in your empty lives....

Dead Celebs....... TV Chef Keith Floyd, TV Jockey Fred ‘Hi-De-Hi’ Bowness, and Patrick ‘No Put’s Baby in a corner’ Swayze have all gone to that big TV in the sky , where I’m sure they will cook, dance and ride ponies for all eternity. BomB Culture Salutes You!!!!!

Meanwhile back on Terra Firma those darn Americana’s are trying to embargo Scottish goods as they had the decency to show compassion to a dying man. But, wait! I hear them yelp, he was a terrorist...etc.etc...Quite apart from the dubious evidence behind the conviction, isn’t compassion and mercy what supposedly makes us different from murderers and their nefarious kin?

But those damn Yankees are once again full of righteous indignation and who are we to question the giant intellect of the great American public? So let’s join in by renaming a few Scottish products to align ourselves with America’s New World of the Pure.

Tweed shall be renamed Interconnecting Patriot Stripes

Kilts will now be known as Cowardly Fag Skirts.

Tossing the Caber will change to Stroking the Freedom Log

Haggis is to become A Sack of Liberty Guts

The Phrase ‘Many a Mikle Macks a Muckle’ will not be translated as even in the current climate it is still as relevant today as it was when that bloke from the Professionals said it on a Supermarket advert in the Seventies.

Lulu will be subject to a hostile takeover. From behind.

Finally in a gesture of shoulder-to-shoulder solidarity with our American masters...sorry,...allies...We shall cut Scotland free from this Sceptic Isle, and let it drift aimlessly around the World like some kind of penny-pinching, skirt-wearing red-haired sea borne pariah, where hopefully it will be boarded by Somalian Pirates and sold for it’s rich tartan mines on the international market.
Yes, it may seem harsh, but someone has to do it otherwise it won’t be done, and then where would we be?

Tune in next time when we shall have absolutely no new band news and more inane crap, although we will be limbering up for the annual BC Pickle contest!!! Oh Yeah! Get your hot vinegar ready people for the time to pickle is almost upon us.

For no other reason than it's very clever, we leave you with this awesome Fanmade trailer for a Thundercats movie...enjoy!

Bomb Culture – Fingering the banjo strings of excellence with the long thin digits of love.

Bring Me the Head of Phil Collins

2009-09-03T15:57:00.002+01:00

Yep, been away for quite some time from this ‘ere blog ,and if there’s anyone out there still interested in the pitiful ramblings of a socially maladjusted pervert on the edge of sanity, then welcome back!

So what’s been going on since we had our last little chin wag? Well Michael Jackson’s snuffed it (Proving a genuine ‘Meh’ from me), America has called the NHS ‘Evil and Orwellian’ (Showing both their ignorance and misinformed grasp of literature) ,and Piers Morgan is still a cunt.

In the midst of all these shenanigans however Bomb Culture have been banging away at some new tunes in an effort to thrust them from their slumbering status and thrust them into the bright shiny world of the Gig.

Yep it’s been a Loooooong time for BC to be off the gig scene and frankly, it’s our fault, we’re a lazy bunch of fuckers who couldn’t be arsed so if you have any gig offers then get them rolling in.

So what have we been doing then, eh? EH? Well, as we speak the very finalest of final touches are being put to the oh-so long delayed album and the accompanying Video.

Now, I can hear the collective,’ Yeah right, you’ve been saying that for ages’ tone reverberating across BC Towers, but this time my little internet chum it’s actually true and as if to prove it we will soon be announcing an actual launch date!!!!! Yep that’s fucking right! A launch Date.

To add to this little party, the BC Website will receive an enormous overhaul, meaning that this old blog of ours will probably migrate over to the Main BC site (which itself will be re-vamped). Not sure how it’ll work and all that gubbins but keep on checking back and we’ll let ya know.

I leave you with the words of the late great Mrs. Slocombe ‘Oooooh! Something, something something Pussy something something .’

Aaaaaaand....Queue the Hilarity

Bomb Culture – Uh? What, sorry did someone say something?

Coming soon...

2009-06-18T16:09:00.003+01:00

Bomb Culture - Prepare to begin...

Giz

2009-06-11T15:40:00.004+01:00

Bomb Culture would like to pay tribute to a very dear friend who passed away last week. Geraint ‘Giz’ Jones was a friend since childhood and as such shared his love, laughter and life with us for many, many years. We will miss him greatly and our respects and love go to his family, his friends and anyone who had the fortune to share time with him.

Bomb Culture – Goodbye Giz. We will never forget you. xxx

Watch me for I am a Movie

2009-03-17T21:59:00.003Z

Well as BC are still in the studio beavering away at the album and preparing the soon-to-be-unveiled Video, it's been a bit quiet out there in News land . So as a little gift to you (and because we ain't got shit to tell ya at the mo', here's a movie!! Oh yes indeedy for your delectation and sexual gratification here is the full uncut original Vincent Price classic....The Last Man on Earth!! Based on the original I am Legend it kicks the arse out of Will Smith's massivley overpriced opus...Also it's in the public doamin so you can just watch this little sucker for absolutley bupkiss, free.

We return velly soon with actual news but until then....Vincent Price and The Last Man on Earth! Enjoy!(It may take a minute or two to load so be patient)

Bomb Culture -The Alpha and Omega

BACK ONCE AGAIN WITH THE RENEGADE HAMSTERS!

2009-02-05T09:34:00.015Z

Well Gordon Bennett it's been a while, and our profuse appologise for that, but with the winter chill a-whipin' round our knees the big old BC took a well desreved hibernate-ery break after the massive success of the NYE gig. And what a night it was, our good chums Cakehole Presley ripped up the stage with their folky-bluesy raucusness leaving the way clear for some smoking hot beat filled mayhem from the boys and gal of Bomb Culture.

Yes, some utter tit did manage to chuck a brick through the window at the end of the night, but as we were far away at another party by then, we can rather smugly wash our hands of any responsibility and put it down to just another roaming venomous chav that couldn't hold his alcopop.

So, where are the BC at right now, I hear you squeal....Well, believe it or not, the mighty BC are actually in t'studio mixing and recording the oft mentioned and tediously rumoured Bomb Culture long player!!! Oh yes, me little chickade's, BC's first collection of golden greats is just a month or two from finalisation. As an added bonus we've drafted in the expertise of Mr Waldorf from Stadeler and Waldorf to help with the production, and to polish up the trhobbing beats of pleasure. You lucky people!!

Also, to make up for the recent lack of communication the next post (this time next week folks) will feature a link to the brand new vid , with a brand new remix of St. Marys Beat!! Oh God I think I've just come a little.

So with all this activity surley you could find it within your hearts to forgive our communication transgression and give us your sexy aural love again...You could? Great!

In other news....Since we've been away a number of genius's (should that be geni?) have passed from our shores that didn't get the customary BC salute. So without further ado....

Art lovin' mate of plastacine, Tony Hart

Rumpole writing wonky eyed curmodgen John Mortimer

Clanger and Bagpuss creatin' gorgeous bloke Oliver Postage

One-joke spasm inducing flat cap wearing carry on veteran Jack Douglas

Bomb Culture Salutes You!!!!!!

And in one final unprecedented move, today sees two salutes!! Dear God can it be true? Well yes, as this week sees the 50th anniversary of the death of the awesome Buddy Holly we add one more to the great roster of people saluted by us. So....Buddy Holly BC Salutes YOu!!!!!

NEXT TIME: New BC VID!!! More Album NEWS!!....AND... the premier blog entry for the first lady fo Bomb Culture, Professor Krisps!!Keep 'em peeled people.

Bomb Culture - Chewing horrible words of hate through lovley lips of love

It's about Time

2008-12-08T09:25:00.004Z

Yes, we’ve been offline for sometime but fear not, as if you cast your peepers below you shall see news of the very next giggae. A full update is on it’s way, but for now, here’s what’s up next…The Landsdowne, Canton, Cardiff, NEW YEARS EVE. Cakehole Presley – Bomb Culture – Steve Staedler (Staedler & Waldorf solo set).BE THERE!!!!

Bomb Culture- Being lazy about updating the blog but still saving the World one beat at a time

Tufty Rocks!

2008-10-28T12:23:00.007Z

After watching the start of Autumn Watch last night, it occurred to me that there might not be anything in life quite as hypnotic as watching a squirrel on an assault course. There is surely nothing finer than a hearty smoke in one hand, an aged single malt in the other, and the sight of a furry- tailed-nut-nibbler scrambling across a washing line. But is watching a squirrel on a washing line the very best thing that you could be doing on a cold wintery night? Well not if it’s November 20th, your in Newport, S.Wales and MINT productions have anything to say about it ! OH Yeah, once again we’re starting off with a massive plug for the upcoming MINT @ MEZE Night, featuring the VERY BEST Cardiff bands around at the mo’. Except absolutely NO substitute people!

While we’re on the subject of awesome things to watch, let us introduce you to our decadent chums from the city of Londinium in the town of En-ger-Land, the one and only Bow Mods. A twisted Cabaret of dance and debauchery and Berlin-style Burlesque they are well worth having a look at…and in fact you can right here with theirBRAND New vid for, ‘Seventeen Weeks’, a touching lament to lead singer, PCS’s need for a fag and a shag. You shall not be disapointed...

'SEVENTEEN WEEKS'. Bow Mods present...

POST 200 MASSIVE 200 PENCE GIVEAWAY was….. Nesta Wyre from Gabalfa for her stunning entry ‘ Can I have the money please.’ Admittedly it’s not the greatest competition entry ever but as she was the only applicant she wins!! (Bet your kicking yourself for not entering now eh?). So huge congratulations to Mrs. Wyre, the £2 will be waiting for you at the very next BC Gig which just so happens to be the afore-mentioned MINT @MEZE!!! HUZZAH!

And finally..In lieu of rant we round up this weeks news using just 3 words to comment on each story…Brand and Ross –Offensive Arrogant Twats…Mandelson – Slimy Devious Liability…The Met in Court for Shooting innocent people…Desperate arse-covering lies…The Return of Autumn Watch –Lovely beardie Oddie! Horray! Yep, as faintly middle-class and middle-aged as it is, Autumn Watch can’t fail to warm the cockles and massage the tingly-feeling gland! Don’t believe me? Then as I said earlier, get yourself a whisky, a smoke and tune in to a squirrel on an assault course. Fuck the Recession and the world turning to shit Autumn Watch rocks!!!

Bomb Culture – The funkiest of Gibbons

POST 200 -THE TWO HUNDRED-ETH-EST POST OF ALL TIME!!!

2008-10-14T11:36:00.008+01:00

THREE YEARS! TWO BAND LINE-UPS! ONE ARSE THROBBING BLAST OF SOUND! HUNDREDS OF GIGS!TWO BROKEN LEGS!THREE BABIES! NUMEROUS BC SALUTES! ONE ROBBERY! FOUR BA-ZILLION BADLY WRITTEN WORDS!......IT’S THE BOMB CULTURE BLOGSPOT’S 200TH POST !!

Oh yeah, babies that’s right, it exactly 200 posts of ill-informed rants and band news ago, that we started this here blog to give you nubile young thangs all you need to know about Cardiff’s very most bestest Beat merchants. So let’s kick off the celebrations with news of the next gig, the enormous return of those promoters of taste and virtue….. MINT! Yep, get ready, coz here comes MINT 2 ….

So Who’s playing then eh? eh?…..

MAIN STAGE

Julian Liberator - A thumping set from London's finest acid techno party people, Stay Up Forever.www.myspace.com/stayupforevercollective

Staedeler and Waldorf - live quality dance floor filth from the dirty beat muppets www.myspace.com/staedlerandwaldorf

Bomb Culture - Yes!!! YES!!! YES!!!l

http://www.bombculture.co.uk/

No Sleep Police - Straight outta blackwood with kick ass hip hop to rock & shock the nation

www.myspace.com/nosleepingpolicing

Project Serpo - The best in electro acoustic fun and bleeps

www.myspace.com/projectserpo51

Dr Nitrogen - On the decks with the man from Critical Mass
www.myspace.com/drnitrogen

But that’s not all for there is also…THE ROOF GARDEN, with The very best of Dubstep on the brand new roof terrace featuring:

Mondo

www.myspace.com/djmondo23,
1man dub
www.myspace.com/1mandub
Slippers
Errr...well he doesn't have a Myspace account, so you'll just have to pretend.

And finally Visual pleasure will be unleashed from Bomb Culture’s very own Visual slut…

The Darkside Gallery

http://www.thedarksidegallery.co.uk/

We are also enormously chuffed to mention, that the deliciously bouncy Bomb Culture track, ‘Where ya Goin?’, will be turning up on the extreme sports show, Freesports on 4. Not sure which episode yet but we’re in there somewhere (probably as someone does something EXTREME, or some such nonsense). So keep your ears peeled people , as BC takes it to the TV.

We continue the POST 200 celebrations by re-visiting one of our most popular features (It’s not popular at all).. Yep, it’s competition time! As we’re celebrating 200 posts we thought it only fitting that we give away BIG MONEY! So here’s your chance of winning TWO HUNDRED pence! All you need to do is follow the instructions below and you could be dining out at the very best fish and chip Restaurant in your area! It’s so easy even a child could enter. A really stupid diseased child n’all.

Simply go to the comment box and leave a comment stating why you should have the 200 pence on offer. You may need the cash for bus fare to visit a sick aunt, or maybe you’re a tramp and need a couple of tins of Special Brew. Perhaps you have a scabby disease and need a pack of rubber jonnies so you don’t spread your mucky filth about the place. Remember the more pathetic and needy you are, the more likely it is you’ll win! It really is that simple!! Good Luck!

And finally….Like some hot celebration on celebration action we’d also like to give great big Happy Birthday! to our Visual Slut, Mr Sul of The Dark Side Gallery. The Salt N’ Pepper haired wonder will not also be displaying his moving images at the MINT 2 but also displaying his canvas-based terrorism at the Dolphin Hotel, Swansea on November 30th as part of the Heroes and Villians Comic Con! Here’s the poster…

So, as the financial world crumbles and falls into the capitalist pit of it’s own doings, and we bend over and bail them out, BC hurls the bad tidings to one side and gives you reason to dance at the end of the World. As we’ve always said, when the shit hit’s the fan it’s time to dance in the spray.

And as one final Celebration present here's President Bush (Senior) throwing up on the Chinese Ambasador! Enjoy!

Next time – An in-depth investigation into the financial markets - As the Isle of Dogs Building Society collapses, we ask, is it time to call in the retrievers?

Bomb Culture salutes all of our Reader(s)!!!

How to make a Lion go Woof!

2008-10-06T16:08:00.004+01:00

Now before we start, I'd just like to appolgise for the random and rambling nature of this blog post. There, now no-one can feel guilty as you have been warned..

Whilst idly sitting drunk in front of my TV the other night, I saw a listing for a show that I was sure would be an excellent all round family experience. Eagerly I tuned in, but was disappointed to find that my whisky be-fuddled eyes had tricked me and I had misread Wildlife on One as Wildlife on Fire (damn my drunken TV Watching).

Now, far be it for me to encourage the populace to set light to members of the Animal Kingdom, but what could possibly be better than seeing a flammable Lion hunting down a petrol soaked Zebra? The inevitable explosion / beast inferno would surely have been the tele-visual highlight of the year and at least 10 billion times better than watching the X Factor. Seriously, Danni Minogue? Sheryl Cole? Musical Experts? It seems all you need to do is go armed with a story that your mother/sibling/spouse/dog has just died, sing in that faux-wibbly Mariah Carey way, and hey presto you’re a star. Of course you also have to state that being famous and rich has also been your lifetime ambition and that if you don’t beat the 7 or 8 million people in this freak show you’ll be a loser for the rest of your life. Well guess what, you have no need to beat 7 or 8 million people, you’re a sad twat already. Good luck with that.

Personally I think we could mix my Wildlife on Fire show with The X Factor and produce something really interesting… Simply douse the contestants in petrol, strap a hundred lit candles to a hungry lion, place them in Danni MInogue’s skull (or any other large empty space) and roll the cameras. Hey presto, instant TV show! This principle can also be attached to Strictly Come Dancing – just substitute Danni Minogue’s skull for a ballroom and make sure the lion is wearing sequins.

But, why oh why are blathering on about such things Oh Mr. Bomb Culture person? Well, I’m glad I asked, as apart from the soon-to-be-announced line-up for the 2nd MINT @ MEZE (Coming real soon…With a real cracker of a headliner..) , Bomb Culture are stuck in the limbo land of ‘Some Fucker nicked our Equipments-ville’. This of course means that we’ve had to put the whole recording/ jamming thang on hiatus whilst we light our torches and hunt down the thieving bastards , or failing that just glumly buy more guitars…Grrrrrrrr.

Anyhoooo normal service will be resumed next week with the big celebration that is …POST 200!!! What is POST 200? Well come on back next week and you may just find out….Then again, you may not, sort of depends really.

Bomb Culture – Weevils on Fire, rolling down the Road

The Good, The Bad and The filthy thieving scum

2008-09-29T11:48:00.007+01:00

Some Good News and some Bad News today, first the bad:

Appologies to break the mood of loveliness and stuff but some thieving piss-licking -shit-sucking- scum-fuckers broke into the studio on Saturday morning and made off with our Bass, lead guitar, a bag of leads and a sound card. Now, far be it from us to judge the detective skills of the Cardiff Constabulary but just in case and in the interest of the slim chance that someone would know these motherfuckers, (and the fact that they haven’t actually bothered to turn up to check out the crime after 2 fucking days) today we ask the question ‘Have you seen These Twats?’ Maybe you recoginse the seedy rat features, or perhaps the hideous Addidas jumper that the lead Cunt seems to be wearing with little shame…

If you have any idea who these chavy cock-holes are please email us on bombculture@gmail.com or leave a comment in the comment box. If you’d just like to leave a insult about these mother-less father-fucking- herpes-lipped- spunk –suckers then pop that also in the comment box and we’ll pass on your thoughts just as soon as we catch up with them.

On a lighter note (and as a way to stop myself obsessing over the filthy pig-fuckers who robbed us blind ) we must stop to give a salute to one of the finest actors of his generation, Mr. Paul Newman who died on the Weekend. Apart from the superb performances( Cool Hand Luke, Hud, The Hustler, Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid..etc..etc) and his massive contribution to defining a style of naturalistic acting that was never fully appreciated (I always think they give Brando, waaaaay too much credit when Newman made consistently better films), his philanthropy and the billions he gave for good causes across the World was way beyond the call of duty. So for all of those things AND for a pretty damn tasty pasta sauce, Paul Newman….Bomb Culture Salutes You!

And finally….
To put a little karma our way in the Good News stakes, It is with enormous pleasure that we welcome into the World …Edita, the newest sibling of our ex-bass hippy-chap Mr Jethro Stevenson and his rather delicious Wife ,Jennie. Massive congratulations to them both and our huge love. after such a shitty weekend it’s an absolute delight to have a wee ray of niceness burst through the cloud of crap. So as a very special addition to the World, Jethro, Jennie and Edita….Bomb Culture Salutes You!!!

BOMB CULTURE - WELL DONE THE HIPPY!

His Name was Earl

2008-09-24T10:08:00.005+01:00

We’ll it’s all go here at BC Towers as work continues apace on the soon-to-be released new long-playing-45-type-album! Of course this is great news for anyone who possesses ears but not so good news for anyone who is trying to write an incisive and witty news blog based on the antics of the band. So whilst I thump around blindly for inspiration it’s a good time for a Bomb Culture Salute!...

Earl ‘The Greatest Session Drummer of All-time’ Palmer has passed away at the ripe old age of 83. Why is this relevant? Well me little chickadees, you may never have heard of Earl Palmer but you would have definitely heard his work. Here’s just a wee snap of the records he drummed upon:

Between 1949 and 1956, he played on Lawdy Miss Clawdy, I Hear You Knocking Tutti Frutti, Long Tall Sally, Summertime Blues, Something Else, La Bamba. In the 60’s he worked with Phil Spector and played on records by the Beach Boys, Jan and Dean, the Mamas and the Papas, Frank Sinatra and the Supremes, as well as two wall of sound classics: the Righteous Brothers' You've Lost That Lovin' Feelin, and Ike & Tina Turner's River Deep, Mountain High. Now all of that would have been fine and dandy but he also did the Mission Impossible theme, the intro to The Flintstones and playing on the opening credits for I Dream of Jeanie, Ironside, The Odd Couple and Mash.

So a pretty frickin’ amazing addition to the legacy of music allround eh? BUT WAIT! As it get’s better….Not only did he do all of this but…
At Cosimo Matassa's J&M studio, Plamer played on a succession of records that turned jazz, blues, rhythm'n'blues and country into rock'n'roll. Palmer provided the pulse helping the different styles coalesce, and was the first musician to use the expression "funky" to explain to his fellow musicians that they could make the result more syncopated and therefore danceable.
Yep, you read that right, he invented the word Funky!!! How utterly fucking cool is that? So in honour of not only playing on some of the most inspirational and downright greatest recordings of all time, but also inventing a word that defines….well everything that is cool….we humbly say, BOMB CULTURE Salutes You!!!!

Theres a whole obittuary of the great fella on the Guardian Website which you can find right here http://www.guardian.co.uk/music/2008/sep/23/popandrock.usa

Tune in next time when we endeavor to make up our own new word but miserably fail and end up with a weird sound like slowly deflating bap.

Bomb Culture – Funky.

He Touched Posh Paws Inappropriately n'all!

2008-09-15T11:11:00.005+01:00

Sometimes you just wanna shove your head up your arse and shout ‘Why God?!? WHY?’ It was this way when I saw a trailer for Noel Edmonds new Sky TV show last night about how he would (and I quote) ‘Fix Broken Britain’. What really licks my nuts about this is my long-held secret love for my Childhood Christmas Mornings with Noel. Who could resist the bearded wonder’s Xmas broadcasts from the top of Telecom Tower before a repeat of Morcambe and Wise and a televisual visit to Westminster Cathedral (Granted, by this time I would have been deep into my Beano annual, but you know what I mean.) So it gives me no great pleasure to show such hatred to the hirsute institution but ‘Broken Britain?’ What kind of shitty Daily Mai-ass-Sucking phrase is that? Well, y’know what Noel? Considering the condescending media whores that contribute to the abject cultural degeneration of society and the subsequent dumbing down of the overall information media by pandering to the lowest form of knee-jerk tear-squeezing reactions of the most idiotic members of society, then perhaps you should consider Britain is broke because of the attitudes of people like yourself. Or to put it more succinctly, go fuck yourself up a pole you saccharine- laden muff-faced little twat. But I digress….

Today’s big question is, of course… ‘Woz you there?’…. Where? Why the inaugural evening of MINT @ MEZE you heathen b’iatch. Due to the trustworthy speed of the British builder the second room was not actually finished on the night, so our good friends MUD were unable to play their set but we did get the funky funk of Ninja Pigeons and the scratchy squawk of Sicknote, all topped off with the banging beats of the irresistible Bass Pilots. ‘Hang on a mo?’ I hear you yelp, ‘What of Bomb Culture?’… Well, it all started rather well with a storming blast of the BC toons ‘Beg Me’ and ‘Pleasure Hive’ before Berty’s Computer mouse went the way of all things and decided to squeak it’s last…After a 10 minute scramble for another mouse we were back, but with a much reduced set. So cutting our losses were powered into the final two tracks and emerged hot, sticky, yet triumphant! A massive ‘Cheers M’Dears’ to everyone who supported us (and the first MINT @ MEZE) by coming out on a Thursday night and getting on down.

So a bit of a bummer for the Big Old BC , but a right royal Success for the first night of MINT @ MEZE. So what of the second night? Well like an unpleasant genital wart , another will appear pretty damn soon ( possibly November /December ). But, again what of BC? Well fear not me little chick-a-dees, to make up for our Berty’s 3 month- leg-bound- inactivity, BC are planning something bleedin’ enormous to round off 2008. Nothing can be revealed yet, but suffice to say, keep you New Years Eve free….Is that too much of a clue? Nah, I’m sure that’s pretty clue-free….Hmmmm …maybe I should make some spooky sounds to make it more mysterious…ooooooohhhhhhh…ahhhhhh…There, that’s better. No-one will ever know….

And finally, I’m sure you would have seen this before (IF NOT, WHY NOT?) but here in tribute to Noel Edmonds and his quest to heal us all, is a video of Chris Morris making him look like the arrogant fame-hungry bitch he really is….ENJOY!

Bomb Culture - We really do mean, take care

Massive Overuse of Exclamation Marks Shocker!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2008-09-08T12:37:00.010+01:00

Up from the depths, forty storey’s, high, breathing fire with it’s head in the sky …MINT @ MEZE! Paaaa pa paaaa, MINT @MEZE Paaaaaapapaaaaa and Godzuki…la.la.la.la.laaaaaaaaaa…MINT@MEZE PAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA. Yes, friends,..here it comes, charging over the horizon like a pounding colossus of dance, the inaugural night of MINT @ Meze, a brand spanking new night thrown together in a fit of passion by our very own Mr Berty Trousers, and it is happening in Newport, S.Wales this very Thursday 11th September.

So what’s in store for all you young buck and buckes-ess then eh? Well let us begin with the bands….Firs t off are Ninja Pigeon, being neither a feathered botherer of bin-bags, or an ancient Japanese Warrior you could be furious at their outward lies, but instead why not just nod your head and wiggle yer ass to their very own brand of funky, dubby, elcectro toons. To find out what a Ninja Pigeon sounds like then travel here….I AM A LINK CLICK ME AS I LOVES IT BAD INNIT.

Next on the smorgasboard of delight is the headlining…. SICKNOTE. A true slap-bang-wallop of a band with beats and screaming soapbox rants to turn your head and give your ears the glad-eye. If you’ve never encountered this bunch of rapscallions in full flow, then gird your loins, grit your teeth and fly here…CLICK ME, I AM ALSO A LINK AND I TOO LOVES IT BAD INNIT… with all haste.

Of course, only a fool would throw such a party and not invite the Sexual Tyranysoraus that is…BOMB CULTURE! Oh yes, children we shall be rubbing your rhubarb and juicing your melons with untold delight as we once again beat ourselves against the drums of your ears…Hooo-HAAA!(Obviously no link as you're already here you clever person). As you're probably aware of what Bomb Culture looks like, here is a picture of the Larve of giant winged beast, Mothra leaning against the Eiffel Tower instead.

With all this live music you may think there’s no room for DJ’s and art-type shenanigans….Well your entitled to think that, but you would be oh, so very wrong! For your eyeballs will be delicately massaged by the sheer brilliance of Mr Sul of The Darkisde Gallery and his moving-picture-machine! To see his non-movable works, then travel to here…YES, IT’S ME OLD LINKY AGAIN, WAITING FOR YOUR HOT CLICK…Also for those with a visual bent are the sparkling TAFFIA and the scrumptious WHITE ROPE!!

And what of the DJ’s???Well Cor blimey but if it ain’t the Bass Pilots form the legendary Holodeck!!And who be that but Dr. Nitrogen from Critical Mass

‘Surely that’s enough to tempt us!!!’ I hear you cry..but NO! We ain’t finished yet, as there is a second room playing some delicious Dub Step hosted by MUD with ONE MAN DUB, MR BEN and MONDON.

So, are you dripping with anticipation and hot with quivering excitement yet??Well you bloody well should be.A full report on all of the shenanigans will be posted next week, replete with photos and badly constructed text! We’ll see ya there!

Oh and I think last word today goes to Russel Brand. Not usually someone who I find particularly amusing but kudos for his opening of the VERY high profile VMA Awards. It takes a lot of balls to say what you think in America, so all the better for this..‘People of America, please elect Barack Obama... on behalf of the world. Some people, I think they're called racists, say America is not ready for a black president, but I know America to be a forward thinking country, right, because otherwise would you have let that retarded cowboy fella be president for eight years? We thought it was nice of you to let him have a go because in England George Bush wouldn’t be trusted with a pair of scissors.’

Bomb Culture – It wasn't us Guv, we was down the pub wiv our mates.

Fair Do's innit.

2008-09-02T12:49:00.007+01:00

Well, well, well... a lovely smackeroo to the chaps and chapesses that bowled along to the Lansdwone Hotel last Saturday for the Fair Play Festy where BC rumbled through a collection of their very greatest-est hits. A great time was had by all, and the peeps that put together such a damn fine festival should be given…ohhh…some chocolates for being so damn goods at it.

About a Grand was raised for War On Want and lots of people got mullered and danced their asses off, what could possibly have been better? Unfortunately due to a wee SNAFU, we forgot to take any photo’s of us actually playing, so here instead, are some photo's of the Art work and the general atmos.....

Anyhoooooo….. As the days of summer sink into a big wet puddle of irony, I’m of the mind that the only way to face the upcoming months of cold and (yet more) rain, is to attack them with the same level of optimism usually reserved for the start of Spring.

I’ve always found it a little Season-ist to look on Autumn and Winter as the poor relation to the Summer Months, and although I agree that the choice of outdoor activity is severely limited, there’s plenty going on indoors to keep even the most ardent of sun-worshippers happy. Take , for instance the brand new club night, MINT @ MEZE, on Thursday September 11th. To the casual observer this night would just be another way to escape the encroaching winter’s chill, but to those with a keener ear and a sharper eye, the names of SICKNOTE, BOMB CULTURE, NINJA PIGEONS and the BASS PILOTS, mean a celebration of everything that’s phat and fruity in the Welsh Music Scene. Add to that Live Art and deviant visuals from BC’s Very own visual Slut Mr Sul and his DARKSIDE GALLERY, and you have a night that positively screams at the darkening skies ‘Come On Jack Frost, bring your worst, we can handle it you big nosed bastard”.

Of course you may be the type of person who still sees the gathering dark clouds and inevitable chug towards grey-ness as something of a bummer, and if this is you, then fear not, Bomb Culture are here to take the strain, with this handy list of suggestions of ways to enjoy the winter….

1) Indoor paintball –With just a small bag of balloons and a tin of Emulsion, you can enjoy the fun and excitement of War! Why not try re-creating the hilarity of Vietnam? Simply drop a couple of tabs of acid and mercilessly hunt down your loved ones as they scamper about the pot plants with lampshades on their heads. For that added bit of authenticity why not try it again 30 years later by simply spreading a bag of sand around your living room and swapping the words ‘Communist’ to ‘Terrorist?’ (This simplistic and slightly childish analogy can be used time and time again, ensuring fun, fun, fun during the wintry nights ahead)

2) Conkers! – Possibly the greatest game two sturdy chaps could play. Simply pull out your shiny globes of pleasure, coat them in varnish, drill a hole right through the centre, add some string and your away! Hours of fun can be achieved by simply slamming your delicious-if-roasted balls together. And yes, by Conkers we do mean testicles.

3) And if all else fails there’s always the old favourite , Masturbation – A fun and lively activity for all the family (only not together, that would lead to all kinds of problems). Just wait, the winter chill will be gone in a spurt.

So there ya go, things to do and fun to be had. You lucky, lucky people!
And finally…A great big HAPPY BERTDAY to our Bass-slapping-whisky-chugging- beat-programming-man-beast Mr. Berty Trousers who turns 75 this very Thursday. Please leave your BERTDAY abuse in the comments box. YEHAAAA!

Bomb Culture - The reason you have ears

So Macho

2008-08-27T10:50:00.002+01:00

The wheels are turning and the BC Groove Machine is in motion, powering towards this Saturdays appearance at the Fair Play Festival in the Lansdowne Hotel, Canton. Also at the Festival will be an exhibition from Bomb Culture’s very own Visual Slut , Mr Sul with his ’canvas based terrorism’ The Darkside Gallery. So if ya want your peepers popped and your dance gland throbbed, then head on down to the Fair Play Festival this very Saturday. You know it makes sense!

Oooooh, I also almost forgot to mention, BC will also be giving out their brand new and exclusive Bomb Culture Pin Badges, featuring the ever-popular Burning Glitterball Logo. These will be handed out on a strictly first-can-be-bothered-first-served basis. So get your grasping needy hands ready you scurvy dogs…

Anyhoooo, with all of the commotion of recording and jammin’ in the land of BC, I have been left with precious little time to actually write anything other than this update about the up-coming gig (Have I mentioned it’s this Saturday at the Fair Play Festival, Lansdowne Hotel Canton - 6pm?) and just to leave you with a tantalising hint of the Enormous, Mint @ Meze gig featuring Sicknote, Ninja Pigeons and Bass Pilots …but more of that next time…

So in lieu of a RANT or any other such ill-informed blathering here’s a really odd bit of advice from fur-pant-wearing-universe-saving- man mountain….HE-MAN. Enjoy!

Bizarre Heman and Shera PSA Funny Jokes at JibJab

Bomb Culture - Kneell before Zod

Glitter Ye Not!

2008-08-21T10:30:00.006+01:00

As it seems absolutely imperative that every person in Britain knows the whereabouts of Gary ‘Paul Gadd’ Glitter we today eschew the usual sarcasm and issue a heartfelt plea:

Are you an Asian Country that would usually happily accept all manner of Western Perversion, but are slightly nervous because of the international press attention generated by an out-of-favour Glam Rock Star? Perhaps you would normally let ‘certain issues’ slide with just the touch of a few American Dollars ...Well worry no more, as with the speed it takes to jerk your knee, the British Government have ridden to the rescue! Absolutely not* spurred on by the Tabloid Press, the Home Secretary Jacqui Smith has announced new measures to stop Pedophiles travelling abroad by removing the passports (ouch). A more cynical eye may have said, ‘Why didn’t you do this before Gary Glitter left the country, or in the intervening 2 years that he’s spent inside, instead of waiting for the inevitable media coverage when he was finally released’, but I’m sure a resolute Jacqui Smith would say something like ‘If you look at the facts from a year-on year perspective then and take into account the....blah..blah…fucking…blah’ etc.

Some would also say that 'What does it matter when we finally do something about this problem?' Well, y'know it does fucking matter when policy is constantly dictated by the Tabloid Press and the massive knee-jerk reaction it provokes. If the government had really given a shit about the hideous abuse doled out to children across the World by 'Sex Tourists' then they would have acted before The Sun told them to. Oh, and whilst we're on the subject, 'Sex Tourist?' Surely there's a better term than that? Most people on a Club18 -30 could be labelled a Sex Tourist...Hmmm Actaully if you have a better name for a Globe-Trotting Nonce why not pop it in our comments box? The best entry wins a badge! But I digress.....

C’mon Asia why not open your arms and welcome in ‘The Leader’ before it’s too late and we’re made to have him back here in England under the ’British Pedo’s for British Kids’ scheme. Don’t let the opportunity pass you by, you may not get another!**

*Well we say absolutley not, but well....oh you know...

**You may have noticed this entire article seems to have been a cheap rouse to put up some extremly childish pictures of Gary Glitter. Well, you'd be completley right, we are as tempted at a cheap shot as everyone else. YAY!

Next Time –Actual Band News with the run up to the FAIR PLAY Festival and BC’s very own club night….MINT at The MEZE! You've never'ad it sooooo good!

Bomb Culture – Do you wanna touch us, Yeah!

There's not a lot of it about

2008-08-18T11:35:00.005+01:00

Until BC spurt their loins upon the live stage at the Fair Play Festival, we are once again in the barren wasteland of No Band News -Ville…So to make up for that, and inspired by a particularly peculiar comment from our very own Professor Krisps, I have found myself in the hallowed position of presenting....

The Illustrated Bomb Culture List of Shit You Don’t See Anymore…

Birds flying into windows – The sight of random feathered creatures battering themselves against clear glass was a highlight of anyone’s childhood memories, but as time moves forward this rare phenomenon seems to have disapated. Have birds learnt to be a bit more wiley when it comes to windows or is there something more sinister afoot? Were birds just lulling us into a false sense of security by pretending to be stupid and therby making their plans for global domination all the more fantastical to believe? You be the judge, as frankly I can’t be arsed.

Flashers wearing long macs and the bottom half of their trousers (from the knee down and secured with elastic) – Now, I can’t actually say I was ever accoseted by the ‘Park Perv’, but it seems to me that the media of my childhood were obsesed by this legendary figure. Huddled behind a bush wearing only a long mac and fake trouser bottoms, this right-handed casanova would leap into the path of a passing pedestrian, throw open his coat and jiggle his dangly bits, whilst also making the regulation noise of ‘PHWOAR! Have a butchers at that then!’ . Where did these bush-dweling love-machines go? Just like the ‘Weird Uncle’ that every family has, these lovabley dereanged perverts have seemingly disapered from our parks and dark alleyways, to be taken over in the media’s affections by his more glamorous sibling the pedophile. A sad sign of the times, if you ask me…so come on Britain, lets get back to what make Britain Great – Throw on your filthy mac’s and let’s bring back the Park Perv!

Warnings about stealing birds eggs – During my formative years the fear of becoming a viction of crime ran deep in my young bones, but the fear of the repurcusions of getting caught for a crime, ran even deeper. From the perspective of Media aimed at Children, the mopst heinous crime of all was Egg Theft. John Craven regularly reported on the theft of Eggs and just how widespread and despicable it was. Specially made adverts showing long-haired parka-wearing kids up trees rifling through nests for the egg-shaped bounty, were commonplace. I was terrified, but not because I ever had intetntion of stealing eggs (I really couldn’’t see why you would in the first place ) but just in case that unbeknowst to me, an egg would accidently tumble from a nest and land in my pocket, leading to arrest and incarciration – such was the power of the message. So what happened ? Did thieves suddenly realise that, actually there wasn’t very much profit in stealing eggs and reverted to stealing cash instead? Did the bird’s get wise and start locking their nests at night? Maybe we will never know, but to this day I still check my pockets when walking under trees.

So there ya go, a small number of things you don’t see any more, but we do not present these items to you as some sort of cosy nostalgia trip, we give them to you as a rallying call. If we truly want the nation of ours to be great then it’s up to us to bring back the Shit You Don’t See Anymore! So come on people, lets sellotape bread to windows and watch as birds crash into them, then whilst they’re still dazed we can follow them back to their nests, fill the pockets of our flashers mac’s with eggs, and jump from bushes wiggling our dangly bits. If everyone in Britain heard the call then we could build a new Jerusalem, and maybe just maybe, we could fill the World with love.

But it doesn’t end there…oh no! We’d like to know what you haven’t seen in a while! Maybe your hideously ugly and you haven’t been able to face yourself in the mirror for years, or perhaps your sickeningly obese and haven’t seen your penis since you were a child. Whatever quirky little thing or fun-packed abnormality it is , we want to knowto about it! Just leave your suggestion in the comment box below and we’ll do our best not to ignore it.
Oh, And just in case you forgot, the next gig is August 30th – Fair Play Festival , Lansdowne Hotel, Main Stage at 6pm! BE THERE!

Bomb Culture – A bit like Five Star but without the Nonce…Oh all right, with the Nonce

This should put the willies up ya!

2008-08-15T09:54:00.001+01:00

In the slight lull between news items and as a special treat for loyal BC BLOG readers, here is a performance from the Groovy Ghoulies (The original not that American band that nicked the name...)
ENJOY!

THE GROOVY GOOLIES- '1,2,3' | Funny Jokes at JibJab

Hot Buttered Bomb Culture

2008-08-11T11:04:00.007+01:00

Bleary eyed and watery of soul, I awoke this morning with a right old thumper in me noggin. Why? …Well it was all to do with the Sunday night shenanigans of Bomb Culture at Tantrum’s Summer Sundaze at Glo Bar. Squished into a corner of the bar the big ‘ol BC thundered through a warm and wet set that contained a plethora of ramshackle beats and squealin’ geetars. Ably supported by the rather excellent Rhythm Method and DJ’s Tommy Tank and Matt Owen, the night was a hazy evening of drunken debauchery. Of course, having already proved my credentials as a Rock N’ Roll God, I had nothing to prove and went home at 11.30…This however, was not enough to stop the thumping head rage with which I awoke this morning, so as I battle the bitch behind my eyes, let's have a little look around and see what’s happening in the wider World…with another occasional RANT!!!!!

Georgia on my Mind –Big bloody oil supply line , two corrupt arrogant super-powers banging heads, thousands of innocent people being blown to shit. The thing I find most depressing about all this is the sheer predictability of it all, I mean it’s hardly original is it? C’mon Warmongers you really must try harder, Damn it! Why not wage war on Switzerland in a bitter battle of attrition over the breakdown in supply of Cuckoo Clocks, or perhaps have a go at Hawaii over the trade in coconut shell bikinis and grass skirts. Oil supply and simple muscle-flexing arrogance really just doesn’t cut the mustard these days, so c’mon you filthy despotic leaders lets get creative! You’ve done so well in the past, just look at how you managed to make the annihilation of a whole race of humans sound like an advert for detergent- ‘Tired of the stinking …..* stealing you r jobs, money and women? Then try new Ethnic Cleansing .Bang! and the dirt is gone…*(Insert racial slur here) . So come along, USA and USSR lets have a little more ingenuity in your War Games or I’ll send you both to bed with no supper and a very sore bottom…and no, not in the nice way.

If all this talk of War has left you feeling slightly depressed here's a picture of a man wearing his very own home-made Tron Suit to cheer you up....

There, bet you feel better now eh?

In other news…Gravelly- voiced- smooth-Shaft- singing- Scientology- loving Isaac Hayes has shuffled off this mortal coil, almost quite literally. When found the running machine next to him was apparently still, er, running. Now usually I would poo-poo anyone who has the misfortune to be involved with a ‘religion’ based on a Sci-Fi writers idea to make a lot of stupid fucking celebrities lose a whole lot of stupid fucking money, but Hayes was different from say, Tom Cruise, in the key fact that he was talented (Yes ,before anyone brings it up, Tom Cruise was okay in Magnolia but in every other respect the man is a Grade A Penis). South Park aside, If Isaac Hayes had only written Shaft that would have been more than enough to earn him legendary status, but oh no, he also wrote Soul Man, Hold on I’m Coming and the classically titled album, Hot Buttered Soul …If there is a better name for an album I’d like to know it. So sidestepping the dodgy belief in Extra Terrestrials that look like John Travolta….Isaac Hayes..Bomb Culture Salutes You!!!!

And finally…The next gig for you loveable beat crazed monkeys is August 30th at the Fair Play 3 Day Festy at the Lansdowne Hotel, until then we’ll be studio bound writing and wriggling our beats into perfection (or as near as we can get considering our massive inadequacies).
Tune in next time when we’ll be asking John Leslie - did he really do it? And if he did, what did he do and why?

Bomb Culture – Can you Dig it?

Back from Blue Rock....

2008-08-05T10:13:00.008+01:00

Since the dawn of time man has fought against his ancient enemy….Mud. Deep brown, sludgy and right old pain in the arse when it comes to moving around a festival site, but especially irritating if you are blessed with a broken leg and a pair of crutches. It was then, quite a sight to see our bass-slapping man-beast hobbling around on a pair of sticks through acres of the sludgy brown stuff. Obviously it would be a sick person indeed who laughed at a drunken man on crutches repeatedly falling in the mud…So just call me Mr. Sicko…

Anyhoooo, a massive smackerooo to the lovely peeps who came along and supported BC as they battled against a 6pm start time(?!?), an ocean of mud, and a parade that was scheduled for exactly the same time. On top of this the set was cut short by two songs…but like weebles that wobble but never fall down, BC powered through to play a right old blinder of a gig.

Apologies for the lack of Mr Styles and Mr Sul in these photos, their chirpy little mugs shall be with us as soon as we have the next lot of photos and will appear in the next bulletin…. (Oh and abig TA to Lisa for letting me nick these off her Facebook without asking)...Oh hang on here's one of Styles doing what he does best...No, not that...

If you did make it to the Festy, then Massive Snogs and big Love…,but if not, then you can console yourself by attending GLO BAR, Churchill Way, this very Sunday, where BC join Rhythm Method for one of Tantrum’s Summer Sundaze!!

Oh yes FREE ENTRY and a night with BC what could possibly be any better eh?eh?
We can guarentee that if you do go you’ll be as happy as this…..

Oh, and I almost forgot to thank the absolutley bolloxed hippie chick that wandered over to our camp at 4 am hung about and then laid a large steaming shit right outside the door of my tent. I was so giddy with delight at having a steaming human feaces outside of my tent that the mud and hangover beame something of an irrelevance. God bless you hippy chick, it takes a lot of class to shit in public and baby...you got's it!

Bomb Culture - A Fist full of adventure

Perversion to the Max!

2008-07-29T10:41:00.006+01:00

The countdown has begun….Just four short teeny went days to go before BC hit the Blue Rock Festival –Got a ticket? No???What the fuck is wrong with you? Look below for the last entry click the link and get it sorted awwwwttttt!!!!

Now then….With Bomb Culture oiling up their musical twanggers in readiness for the weekend I have time for a once in while styleee RANT….

‘Freedom Gets A Spanking’ wailed The Sun as Max Moseley won a controversial victory over those Guardians Of Public Morals…The Tabloids. Now taking aside the fact that Mr. Moseley’s dad was a vicious right-wing twat who is justly vilified, why does The Sun (and all the seedy rags that jumped in to cry ‘foul’) think that they had any right to hide a camera in a private residence and film someone having sex? Yep, it was full-on bondage and spanking styleeee but what’s that got to do with anyone other than the spank-er and the spank-ee?
If I was to run up to a woman getting out of a taxi and shove a camera up her skirt, I’d be beaten to a pulp before being arrested…However, the paparazzi do this everyday in the name of Press Freedom and it’s deemed perfectly acceptable by the same people denouncing this court judgment. Apparently, it ‘goes with the territory’ and ‘celebrities should expect to be treated this way because it’s part of the job’.

Just like the justification of terrorism laws to increase surveillance in the name of ‘keeping Britain safe’, the freedom of the press is always sited when a shitty tabloid decides to exceed their remit and ‘expose’ someone for doing something in their private life that has no bearing on anyone else but themselves. The moral line that The Sun seems to have run back to, (now that they can no longer say it was all to do with Nazi’s or some such bollocks) is how ‘perverted and shameful’ Max Moseley is for indulging in sado-masochism. Morality? From Murdoch? Really??
I, like most people with a modicum of intelligence, have little time for pitiful and inaccurately named Celebrities (Seriously, what does Calum Best actually do?) but this kind of ‘reporting’ feeds on hypocrisy, cynicism and the kind of twisted morality that sends hordes of illiterate twats to burn down pediatricians houses, whilst clutching copies of The Sun, in which a 17 year girl proudly displays her tits for their titillation.

Surely the largest hypocrisy in all of this is the fact that to read The Sun you obviously have to be a sado-masochist with leanings only slightly further right than Genghis Khan.

Max Moseley might not be the most likeable guy in the room, but he, like everyone else, has the right to been chained up and have a vibrator shoved up his arse without it being secretly filmed and appearing on The Sun’s Website. ‘Look at this filth it’s disgusting’ they cry as thousands of sweaty palmed internet viewers cluck their tongues and work themselves into a lather.
Ahhhhh fuck it, I’m off to strap an orange into my gob and hang my nuts through a glory hole…Anyone got a camera?

A full report on festy shenanigans will magically appear here next week, until then, See ya at The Blue Rock, People!

Bomb Culture - 354 billion pounds cheaper than a tin of Zimbabwean beans

Small is Beautiful - UPDATED 22ND JULY SCROLL DOWN FOR NEW BITS!!!!

2008-07-20T18:04:00.009+01:00

Howdy peeps, and welcome back! As you may (or may not) have noticed there has been a short hiatus in the updating of this little old blog of ours, so mucho appologies to our regular reader(s), but even the voice of BC needs a wee bit of downtime every now and then, and that is exactly what I got. In true Rock N' Roll stylee I got myself to the throbbing heart of the English cultural holiday scene by taking a caravan down in Devon. Whilst there, I truly pushed the anarchic boat out by visiting the Mecha of Rebellion... the Babacombe Model Village. Now there may be one or two of you out there who are ready to mock or dis-believe that the seminal delights of the Babacombe Model Village could in any way ever be described as either Rock or Roll...Well if that's so, just check out the sex and violence that I witnesed at this haven of all things small and sinful...

First the SEX... (See if you can spot the shaggers amongst the nudey beach folk)

And now the Violence....

So there ya go, proof if proof be needed that Model Village's ROCK!

Anyhoooo, on returning home I was moist to notice that a whole raft of gigs had been lined up in my abscence.We're just dotting the 'I's' and crossing the 'T's' and putting the little squiggley line at the bottom of the 'Q', so call back here on Tuesday for a full update on the upcoming BC Gig List....Although if you're reading this on Tuesday, then just ignore this sentence and go straight to the bit below this bit...Actually if you stopped reading the last bit you wouldn't know to look down to the bottom bit so go back and re-read it before you ignore that sentence and then jump to the bottom. Don't bother reading this bit though it will only confuse you.

Gonna keep it short and sweet for today as I have to shake the sand from my cracks and flick the crabs from pants. Okay then, meet back here on Tuesday, I'll be the one wearing red and carrying a vibrating effige of the Pope.

Oh and for all those who added their thoughts to the comments box about last weeks 'what was the song I was humming', the actual answer was Every Loser Wins by Nick Berry. As no-one got it right, the prize of a good hard Pig Poncing is Rolled-Over to this week...So answers on a postcode or comment box please for the following..Shabbb ab ba ba daaaa da daaaaa do lal lala.

Don't all rush at once now will ya?

UPDATED BIT - 22ND JULY!!!

Ooooookay then, as promised here’s the first glimpse of the new raft of gigs coming up in the next month…..

1ST - 3RD AUGUST 2008
CELTIC BLUE ROCK FESTIVAL - LLANFYMACH, NEAR PEMBROKESHIRE

AUGUST 10TH
TANTRUM SUMER SUNDAZE - GLO BAR CARDIFF

AUGUST 30TH
FAIR PLAY FESTIVAL - LANSDOWNE HOTEL CANTON, CARDIFF

SEPTEMBER 11TH
MEZE LOUNGE NEWPORT (SUPER-DOOPER SECRET LINE-UP YET TO BE ANNOUNCED)

So there ya go me little munchkins, a wee smorgasbord of dates for your diary all with the BC Seal of Grooviness (This is not an actual seal –Bert is a bloody vegan and wouldn’t let us slaughter one for the purpose).

In other news…If you’re the kind of Daily Mail reading, knee-jerk reaction loving terror monger who quivers under the bed sheets every time Trevor MacDonald pronounces that Britain’s streets are awash with knife-wielding hoodlums who would slit you from gill to gizzard for the price of this weeks Beano, then click here for a wee bit of perspective (shockingly it’s from The Times, but don’t let that put you off)…..CLICK ME FOR I AM A LINK TO A NEW STORY AND I LOVES IT I DOES

And finally…Here’s a comedic picture of a guy who really should have ducked…ENJOY!

Bomb Culture - Flicking the arse of hatred with the soggy towel of love

Dribbly eye goo

2008-07-08T13:46:00.004+01:00

A cloud of pure inspiration swept over the city of Cardiff last night, as the fevered machinations of BC spurted out of the gaps in the studio walls and permeated the air, making it rain sugary sweet droplets of honey-coated musicality. Oh yes dear person, the white heat of the recording sessions for the highly anticipated BC Long-player are in full swing. We have skinned cats, terrorised nuns and generally screeched like banshees to make those oh so pleasant noises that you demand, so do remember to buy the bloody thing won't you, eh? eh?
But what's that I hear you cry?

'We’re looking forward to LP, but what oh what, is coming up on the whole live music front then eh?'
Wow! Slow down there buddy, you just said a mouthful...let me enlighten you in the ways of the upcoming gigs by providing you with these handy links.....

Celtic Blue Rock Festival - I AM A LINK, CLICK ME I LOVE IT

Fair Play 3 Day-er - No link available yet but look at this luverly poster.....

So, are you back from your clicking to other page adventures yet? You're not? Okay well while we wait for you to return here's some music..

La la la la laaaaaaaaaa, laa laa laa la la, La la la la laaaaaaaaaa, laa laa laa la la*

Ahh, there you are. Now then, as it has become something of a tradition for me to ramble on with any old nonsense I thought I would share with you the peculiar ways in which the general public have stumbled across this blog via the gift of the Search Engine. If you're reading this then I can only assume you came here for news of Cardiff's premier bunch of beat driven rascals, but other viewers seemed to stumbled across this blog via the method of the search...Here, for your delectation are a few of the most peculiar search words that have led the populace to this page...

A popular search has been for the use of the words Splod and Cordwangle - Obviously Kenneth Williams fans, so we can at least assume that they have good taste

Someone in Ontario searched Google for the words, which I used to describe myself...Hamster Cheeked Lothario...Obviously a popular phrase in America or my enormous-faced fame has spread to the former colonies

A guy from Wiltshire came by looking for the phrase Mam Dog - Particularly weird as this was Mr. Sul's much loved and missed pet pooch - Gawd knows what the guy was looking for perhaps a Motherly Canine appreciation site?

Possibly the best search was, however from someone from Australia searching for - Tickety Boo Gay Pumping - I can only assume they were very disappointed by what they found. Obviously they were after a website about a happy clock maker who also ran a bicycle repair shop.

So there ya go, if you found this page via the method of an odd search word then let us know what it was in the comment box below -You may have searched for 'talentless bunch of Wankers' or 'Unfunny Arsewipe who won't just shut the fuck up', whatever it was we want to know!

Until next time, here are a few words for Google searchers everywhere....Winkle, Sheepshank, Squirt...Right let's see who turn's up then eh?

*(There's a prize for anyone who can correctly guess the tune - leave your thought in the comments box)

Bomb Culture - We live in Dolly Parton's gills.

The unbearable lightness of bulbs --NEW UPDATED BIT 3RD JULY...SCROLL DOWN..

2008-07-02T16:20:00.006+01:00

With the THWACK of leather on willow and the prospect of another British hopeful soon to crash out of Wimbledon, it can only mean one thing...The Great British Summer, and with it The Great British Festival Season! For your good pals BC however, this has been translated to The Great Shit-ish Hardly Any Festy’s Season Due to Incapacitation of Leggage (or GHSFSDIL to those who enjoy a good an acronym). But fear not dear lover of the Culture that is Bomb, for as the tropical sizzle of a true Brit Summer heads into the sultry days of August, BC will wiggle their way onto the live scene with a slot at The Celtic Blue Rock Festival (1st -3rd August …Info here) and then on to a slot at the inaugural Progressive Peace 3-day shindig at the Lansdowne Hotel. Set in the Canton area of Cardiff, this is a first 3-dayer of it’s kind in Cardiff and should be a great big bag of delicious loveliness.
So do not be downhearted sweet children of beats, for we is returning soon!

In other news ….I can’t describe quite how cringing the following clip is other than to say that the guy giving the award is the minister for Culture….Yep, he’s one of the people in charge…..CLICK HERE FOR A MOMENT OF ZEN

Oh and final word on the peculiar cult of the Pig Ponce that seems to have sprung up in the comment boxes of the last few posts – In order to set the record straight on the true nature of Pig Poncing, BC are now accepting visual interpretations of this, most luminescent of practices, so if you would like to send us a drawing of what a good Pig Poncing means to you then send them to the usual address: bombculture@gmail.com.
To start you off here’s what it means to a pirate:

The best entries will be displayed here and judged by someone who probably saw an edition of Take Hart when they were a kid or something. The usual T-Shirt and Mama Bomb Culture’s Pickled Onions of Love and Destiny are available to the winner, so please do enter as we’ve got fucking loads of the things.
Back in the studio tonight for the first tentative steps towards re-emerging with Berty’s newly bionic leg, wish us luck me little darling's..

NEWS JUST IN......THIS NEW BIT ADDED 3RD JULY !!!!

Saw this on the comedy Website Chortle and had to include it here as it's sooooooo good.....enjoy!

Christian zealot Stephen Green is facing bankruptcy over his failed bid to bring a blasphemy case against Jerry Springer The Opera.
The head of lobby group Christian Voice had been ordered to pay £90,000 in costs after losing his long-running battle against the show and its screening on BBC Two.
Now he wants licence-fee payers to cover his bill, saying it would be a better way of spending viewers’ money than funding BBC Three and Four.
The BBC's solicitors, who acted for director-general Mark Thompson, were awarded £55,000 in cost and Olswangs Solicitors, who acted for Jon Thoday, of producers Avalon, were awarded £35,000.
The High Court ruled last December that Green could not prosecute the pair over the show, written by Stewart Lee and Richard Thomas.
The money was due yesterday, but Green says he doesn't have it – and will have to go bankrupt if forced to pay up. He has written to both Thompson and Thoday inviting them to waive their costs ‘in the interests of goodwill and justice’.
He said: ‘Thoday can easily afford to waive his costs as well. He lost £500,000 over the failed tour of Jerry Springer The Opera in 2006, and didn't bat an eyelid, so he isn't exactly short of money either.’
However, the main reason the tour lost money was Green threatening to picket and prosecute any theatre that staged it. He has gloated: ‘Our campaign against the theatre tour of Jerry Springer the Opera was highly successful, by the grace of God. The producers and theatres lost a fortune and Stewart Lee himself said it was ruined.’
As he pleaded for ‘goodwill’ yesterday, Green said: ‘It should be enough for Mark Thompson and Jonathan Thoday that they got away with blasphemy, at least in this life. For these rich, powerful men to pursue me into the bankruptcy courts over money I don't have would be vindictive.'
He also said the BBC was ‘wasting’ £150million on BBC Three and BBC4 Four as well as the recent £550,000 rebranding of BBC News.
‘Mark Thompson earns well over 20 times as much in a year as I am worth. He could pay his own costs out of his inflated salary, and the BBC certainly would never notice the odd £55,000 alongside the money they squander on a daily basis.
'Quite simply, I do not have the money, and will be certainly end up bankrupt if Thompson and Thoday decide to enforce these punitive costs.'
A BBC spokesman said: ‘While we will look at this request, it is important to remember it was Mr Green who chose to seek to bring a private prosecution for a criminal offence.
‘We always believed the case had no merit and should never have been brought but clearly had no choice but to defend against it. It is regrettable that the BBC was forced to spend considerable public money doing so.’
An online petition set up by Christian Voice has attracted 944 signatures – but several are duplicates, and many more actually used the form to register their disapproval of Green’s plea.
One said: ‘I don't understand. It was God's will when you brought the action. It was God's will when you denied cancer sufferers much needed money. It was God's will when your organisation issued death threats against comedians. Is it not also God's will that you be bankrupted then? Or does His will only apply when it's to your own benefit Mr Green?’
A counter-petition saying Green should pay his own costs has received 143 signatures,

Bomb Culture - Stewart Lee ain't the devil no more

Shminky minky

2008-06-24T10:19:00.005+01:00

Don’t ya just hate those joke emails, that whilst kinda funny in content, end with a patronising little message such as ‘ Now that you’ve smiled today, why not pass on this message and make some other folk smile?’….Well to those message mongers I say - No, fuck you, why should I, and more importantly what are you gonna do if I don’t? Apologies for beginning this little rant in such a negative manner but whilst BC are still in a state of flux (due to the snapped leg-age of our idiotic bass-playing man-beast), I have began to grow irritable about the sheer lack of Bomb Culture based news to impart to you dear, loyal and faceless reader (I’m sure you do actually have a face, I just have no idea what it looks like and therefore have to envision you as some form of amorphous blob. Perhaps like a potato with a face drawn on in biro or something).
So with little to say whilst the band’s forced hiatus continues, we move our peepers once again to other affairs and yet another BC Salute….

George Carlin – Awww Crap! It’s getting like a bleedin’ morgue around here! First of Stan Winston kicks the rubberised bucket, and now George Carlin! Now, I have to confess to not knowing a great deal about the great man, but from the early days of Saturday Night Live to his last years as (bizarrely) the American voice of Thomas The Tank Engine (Actually not so odd we had Ringo Starr) , Carlin was, as one tribute put it ‘a real funny motherfucker’.

Here’s a bit from the Chortle website just to put you in the picture…Carlin will be best known for his controversial Seven Words You Can Never Say On Television routine. He was arrested for obscenity for performing it in 1972, but its later airing on a New York radio station led to a groundbreaking US Supreme Court case in 1978, which led to a nationwide 10pm watershed for indecent material. Of the case, Carlin said: ‘My name is a footnote in American history, which I'm perversely kind of proud of.’

And here’s the great man in action…CLICK ME I AM A LINK AND I AM FILTHY

So, for services to the use of bad words by good people….George Carlin, Bomb Culture Salutes You!!!

Nothing much else to report today – I’m off into the Heart of Darkness on a kayaking trip with Mr.Sul tomorrow, so if your near a river bank on the steaming tropical delta that is The River Wye, then why not rip off your under-skirts and wave at us like Jenny Aguter in The Railway Children.

Next time – Actual, proper news about the band and a report into how the residents of Mid Wales made a Visual Artist squeal like a pig.

Bomb Culture - May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.

Gentle Ben and Violent Lassie

2008-06-18T14:47:00.006+01:00

Jeeezzz, it’s kinda hard to keep up the old blog when one of the band is out of action. I say this not, to be pitied (well maybe, a little) but to excuse the sheer lack of news on the whole BC front. Until the great hairy paw of the Berty is repaired I have very little to write about ….however, until Berty’s leg gets itself together with some hot bone-on-bone action we can at least look around, sniff the roses and see what’s ‘appening in the wider world….

42 Day Detention – Do I really need to elucidate further on the stomach churning erosion of civil liberties other than to say, when you find yourself agreeing with David Davis then perhaps it’s time to curl up in a small ball and weep uncontrollably. Or beat the shit out of David Davis. Whatever floats your boat…

Mode in Mind – Our good chums, the thumpingly good dance Gods, Staedler & Waldorf have just produced their first ‘proper video for their ass-kicking toon Mode-in Mind. You can check it out right here. If you aren’t aware of the big old S&W, go check ‘em out on Myspace, and if you do, tell ‘em we sent ya.

The Death of Stan Winston –Now, you may be thinking ‘Who hell he?’ Well let me just throw at you the fact that he was the Special effects guy who created the effects, costumes and general coolness of Aliens, Predator, Terminator, An American Werewolf in London among many many others. You may think it a wee bit geeky, but just think of the sheer volume of cool fun this fella has brought to life and I’m sure you’ll agree he thoroughly deserves a salute…So Stan Winston, Lord of the rubber-faced-goo-driping-xenomorph…Bomb Culture Salutes You!!!!!

So there ya go, some random thoughts instead of actual news, a bit like GMTV, but with more swearing. Muthafucking shitbag cockring twats. See, I told you.

Tune in next time when we’ll be asking ‘ Who is reading this shit?’

Bomb Culture – Life at 365 beats a second

Tickety -Boo

2008-06-10T11:15:00.002+01:00

Dame fate is a cruel and boisterous mistress. Just as the Good Ship BC was sailing merrily through the choppy waters of contentment a freak wave crashed onto our poop and decked the fur-lined beat master Mr Trousers with a great big watery splash.
Now confined to the studio with one leg braced and raised, the half-crazed loon has thrown himself into the final production for the long-awaited long player from Bomb Culture. With nary a gig in sight until the Celtic Blue Rock (see the last post for details) Berty has been feverishly planting beats, breaks and wibbly wobbly noises all over the tracks like some deranged Rear-Window –era James Stewart. Soon, this devilish concoction will spurt from Bert’s vibrating ovum and squelch into the public arena for the delectation of the masses, until that time I think we can only pray he doesn’t do himself too much harm….or chew the furniture and piss on the curtains.

As you may have guessed from the half-arsed babble about Bert’s leg, we are still stuck in limb-o (Get it? Limb-o, y’know like a leg…a limb…actually that works better when you say it rather than write it down). So with the absence of anything new to say, it’s time to take this opportunity to get to know Bomb Culture…So here, for your delectation are the answers to the question… ‘Bomb Culture, what makes you tick?’…

‘For me it has to be velcro’ says erstwhile valley-dwelling geetar fiddling maestro Steve-O Styles ‘It’s the most amazing stuff. When I was a kid I’d never seen anything like it, so as soon as I got to the bright lights of Cardiff, I made a bee-line for Woolworths to get me some. It was such a wonderful place, I never dreamed I would ever be standing in a Woolies, especially in somewhere as glamorous as Clifton Street. They sold everything! Toys, sweets, gardening gloves, nail files, secateurs, those plastic shower heads you attach to taps and of course, my beloved Velcro. As soon as I handed over my money I rushed home full of excitement. Of course I feel a bit silly now knowing that Velcro is in abundance, but I still get a thrill just looking at it, and of course, it tastes delicious. Yum Yum.’

Whirling dervish and resident saucepot Professor Krisps has a different take on the question. She said ‘Remember when you were a kid and you used to see birds flying into windows? Well you don’t see that so often these days do you? It’s a shame, because that really used to push my buttons.’

Hamster-cheeked lothario Mr Stevie J said simply ‘collecting the crusty bits of sleep you find in your eyes in the morning and crafting them into an effigy of the shadowy Mr Big from TV’s Porridge, The Genial Harry Grout. I have such fun using him to terrorise my Ronnie Barker figurine I’ve made from my pubes.’

Visual Slut, Mr Sul of The Darkside Gallery was forthright in his views on the subject
‘The love between a man and another man’ he said, in a voice that quivered with emotion, ‘nothing can make me tick quite like it. It’s not that I’m not gay or anything, it’s just that I really like watching fellas with other fellas. My missus loves it too and she’s not gay so there’s your proof.’

Berty was unavailable for comment but would have probably said something like ‘Porn.’

So there you are, another little insight into the complex world of BC…. If you fancy telling us what makes you tick then just click on the old comment box below and fire away, if you don’t then no worries we’ll just do it ourselves and pretend it was someone else. Everyone’s a winner!!

Bomb Culture - The stick in your rock, the sausage in you roll.

Festy Pesty Growler

2008-06-04T10:14:00.006+01:00

Finally, a bit of good news to temper the whole ‘Bert can’t ride a bike properly’ thang…As you may know, the next couple of months are for BC, free of live gigs due to the broken paw of our beats and bass playing man-beast , but we can at least salvage the end of the summer by vibrating the stage at the Celtic Blue Rock Festival in Llanfyrnach, Pembrokeshire. The festy runs from August 1st – 3rd and tickets /more info is available by clicking on this word….VESTABULE (For those not in the know, a vestibule is an antechamber, or lobby between two connecting buildings. There is no connection between this word and the festival I just thought it may be nice to enlighten you with a new word. Not that we think chums of BC are thick or anything…just slightly illiterate).
We’re hoping to re-arrange the gigs we did have planned before Bert’s crazy snapping leg incident, so they form a sort-of late summer/ early autumn tour, all kicked off by the Festy…We shall of course, keep you informed.

‘But wait!’ I hear you cry, ‘What of Berty’s leg! How is it healing? Have those cheeky bones pulled themselves back together yet?’

Well in yet another BC Blog exclusive, we talked to the country’s top leg-snap-put-back-together-bloke and asked him the question

‘Bert’s leg- Will it heal?’ here’s his response:

‘I’m not a vet, but judging from the shape and size of the break, I can see some similarities between the patient and other human beings, so I’ll give it a go. It seems to me that what’s needed here, is love, sweet, love. Apparently, it’s the only thing that there’s just too little of. Love, can come in many ways , not just thoughts or deeds but also the physical manifestation of love that can be smeared across his forehead when he is asleep. Try that, it’ll be worth it for a laugh anyway.
As to the question of how long it will take to heal, well I would say that’s up to your dear blog readers and how many messages of support they send in the comments box below. Of course, if he’s still not healed just inject him with a shit load of morphine and staple him to an upright pasting board-just like that bloke on the Super glue advert- No-one will ever know the difference!’

So there you have it, a genuine opinion from a genuine medical expert! You know what to do people lets hear your messages of support / genuine loathing for Mr. Berty and his leg. Just click on the comments box below and leave your message. To get you started here’s an example of the kind of things we want to see:

Hey Berty Get well soon you hirsute malingering bastard.

You see? It’s sooooo simple!

Oh and one last thing! A 'Ms. Jayne B' from Bridgend contacted us about purchasing a BC album –Well we have tried to reply but your email doesn’t seem to work, so send us another email with your address and we’ll send you the EP as the Album isn’t ready yet....Sorry to finish on a serious note so here's a rude word to enlighten the mood...Feltch. Phew! That's better.

Bomb Culture - We are the reason you have no self respect.

Crash Bang Wallop...

2008-05-28T11:12:00.005+01:00

Our Genial shaved ape Mester Berty Trousers has taken his love of beats and breaks to a whole new level! Oh yes, in a cunning experiment Mr T took to the roads of Britain last week with a mandate to create himself a new genre of music using just his body. He began by downing a number of alcoholic beverages at the local hostelry and then with the rebellious abandon of a true artist he jumped on his self –propelling bicycle and headed out on the highways of Cardiff. It was not long before the muse took him and with one swift move he slammed his head onto the road, followed closely by the rest of his body. And there it was! The new sounds he had been searching for! The ‘THWACK’ of the head on concrete! The ‘SNAP’ of his leg as the bone snapped in two! Unfortunately, due to the sheer amount of cheap booze coursing through his fur-lined veins poor Berty had forgotten to record the sounds his body made as he bounced and squelched along the tarmac, making the whole exercise redundant.

Of course, there are some cruel souls who say that Bert was merely pissed up and fell off his bike breaking his leg in the process, but we here at BC Towers throw our weight behind our beat maestro and totally believe that it all happened in the name of tune-smitherey!.....

In fact so impressed were we by this experiment that we have decided to open up the idea, to you our beloved listeners! In honour of Bertie’s Kamikaze-like approach to new music we want you to sample your pain! All you have to do is make a short recording (preferably MP3) of you hurting yourself and we will include it somewhere in a brand new tune! It could be a simple scream of pain from catching your finger in a door, or it could be the howl of misery that comes just after your best mate has booted you square in the nuts. Whatever it is we want to hear it! Simply send an email to us via the website with your yelp of agony attached and we’ll mix it into a brand new tune! It really couldn’t be simpler! All noises will be listened to and verified by a panel of people who happen to posses ears. The sender-innner of the best noise will not only win a BC T-Shirt but will also get a free jar of Mama Bomb Culture’s Pickled Onions of Love and Destiny (You will have to come to the gig to pick these up though, as they’re not really suitable for posting).

Anyhoooooooooooo……The upshot of Bert’s *bravely artistic / stupidly drunk* (Delete where applicable) experiment has meant BC are out of action for the next 2 months and so the planned upcoming shows have had to be postponed. On the upside though it does mean that work on the long awaited Bomb Culture Long-playing CD will be pushed forward.... So you what you lose from BC playing live, you gain with a shot of pure recorded pleasure. Just as BC taketh away-eth, BC also giveth – Ain’t we nice?
Get those wince-inducing sounds of ouch-iness rolling in folks!

Bomb Culture – Accepting no liability for anyone deliberatley twatting themselves to get their howls of pain included in a toon.

Broom Broom Bang Bang

2008-05-23T10:50:00.007+01:00

Just a quickie today to point you in the direction of something that simply defies belief. I don’t have enough time or energy to rant about the following link as frankly, if you can’t tell why I’m pointing you towards it then I have no idea why you’re reading this page anyway.. but seriously check this out and prepare to shake your head and say… ‘You fucking arseholes’

Band news coming real soon including an upcoming super-dooper Gig and news on the brand new Gramophone Long-playing disk from your very favouritist beat monkeys, Bomb Culture! Stay tooned me lovelies big things are shuffling down our pipes and will soon spurt upon your aural pleasure glands.

Bomb Culture – We dun broke our stinkbone

Juicy fruits

2008-05-19T15:39:00.002+01:00

So the dust has cleared, the filth has been wiped from the salivating jaws of the gyrating masses and the throbbing pulse of the BC Beat has once again vibrated through the alco-pop drenched streets of Cardiff. Yes, another Grrrrrrrrr-eat BC gig has come and gone and what have we learnt? Well, we know that those good men of Blackwood, the No Sleep Police are shit hot when it comes to that old Hippity Hoppity stuff and we are also aware that BC can make you people dance! Good News all round then! A super-smashing big ‘Cheers m’dears’ to everyone who braved the down-heartened streets of Cardiff to come and thrash themselves about on Saturday night and also helped to raise money for the Burma relief effort. The overall amount after PA hire, breakages etc was roughly about £100 – So not exactly Live Aid but a hundred quid more than was there before, so thanks a great big bundle to everyone who came along.
We have a whole heap of exciting thangs coming up real soon, all of which are still being worked on, so once again, keep those peepers peeled all will be revealed real soon….

Bomb Culture - We are not a number

Sweet FA

2008-05-13T10:49:00.004+01:00

Whilst someone once said that ‘Football is not life and death – it means a lot more than that’ - another opined that ‘Football is a civilised form of war, played by over paid arseholes and watched by under-educated idiots’. Never having been a fan of badly-dressed-bubble-permed chavs kicking a pigs bladder about, I have to say that my interest in football has usually been limited to the brief seconds of sports news I catch before diving across the room for the remote control. I have usually put this down to two things…

…. One, I just don’t get it. There are far better things to do in life than either watch or play football – and none of them involve pundits.

…. Two, I come from Cardiff and frankly in my formative years the Bluebirds were shit. I always that thought to support a team from a different place in the country was basically cheating – I had never been to Manchester so why would I support them? To this day, however many boring dullards have tried to ‘educate’ me on this point, they have never been able to convince that supporting a team just because they have the most money and are at the top of the league, is a particularly sporting thing to do.

So…..it comes as a bit of shocker to see Cardiff City charging toward the FA Cup Final, and even more of a shocker to feel a bit of Celtic pride coursing through these old veins.
As a kid (the last time I had any interest in Football) the FA Cup was a huge deal, and by extension so was the FA Cup song – Who can forget the toe-curling Ossie’s Dream, or the jaw-dropping ineptitude of Anfield Rap? And although the peculiar class-segregation of the Premier League has taken a top layer of shine from the Cup, it still fills me with a peculiar pride to see the old town heading towards Wembley.
So to make a long ramble short, for the first time in many, many years, this Saturday, I will actually be sitting down to watch a football match! Not only that I will actually be giving a shit as to who wins. I’m warming up the perming lotion as we speak…

Of course when Cardiff win there will be only one place to celebrate…Club Pure, where BC take on No Sleep Police in a beat to beat battle of attrition. Oh yes indeed, Cardiff on Saturday night will not only be filled with drunken mayhem but also precision beats of the sublime kind. Along with all the live hippity hoppity of NSP and the electro based groviness of BC, there is a fandabi-dozi line-up of DJ’s including the legendary Grooveslave! You’ve never ‘ad it so good I tells ya!

I leave you today with a few BC endorsed chants to help along the good-natured sportsmanship inherent in all Welshmen, and make sure the game doesn’t descend into some kind of sordid punch-up…

“Your mother is a fat bitch, maybe se should try a macro-biotic diet, I’ve heard they are very good.”

“The ref’s a wanker, but that’s probably because his wife has recently left him and he needs someone to talk to.”

“You’re going home in a fucking ambulance, but that’s only because you’re an ambulance driver and in no way means I have any intention of using threatening behaviour against you.”

Bomb Culture – Portsmouth, you is going down, Bra.

New Venue News! BC in boring headline shocker!

2008-05-08T10:05:00.004+01:00

Like a leaf tossed about on an unceremonious breeze the next gig from BC has been caught in the tidal ebb and flow of the Cardiff clubbing scene finally washing up on the shores of Club Pure (Formally The Club With No Name). After an apparent falling out with Conti’s, our hosts for the evening, the reputable No Sleep Police have moved the night to the throbbing underground love-nest of Club Pure.
In addition to No Sleep Police, and of course your good friends BC, the night will also be host to Dj’s Dr. Nitrogen, Quantify, Tom Bentley and the damn near legendary…Grooveslave!!! Sign this date in your diary - SATURDAY MAY 17th – for surely it will be a date to remember.
In other news…..After their hilarious kicking that Labour received at the polls on Thursday it’s nice to see Gordon Brown ‘Listening’ as he utterly ignores his own panel of scientists and professionals on the declassification of Marijuana. Not to excuse Labour of jumping into a knee-jerk populist reaction just to scramble back a bit of dignity or anything but….oh fuck it , what a fucking knee-jerk reaction to scramble back a bit of dignity.
At this point I would also mention the horrific situation in Burma, but frankly a flippant comment or passing reference is no where near enough, so I’ll just say if you can give any money to help do so by going here http://www.dec.org.uk/
And finally…China has claimed the Dalai Lama is trying to ‘vilify’ them and his ‘plot is a clumsy way of damaging China’s international reputation’…Is that the reputation about driving tanks over sleeping students as they peacefully protest, or the one about locking up demonstrators for life (and when they say life…)? Hmmm, mind you, I always had the Dalai Lama down as a terrorist –as my mother always said , ‘never trust a man in an orange dress wearing sandals’.
Bomb Culture – Musically ripping you a new one.

Humph's not about...

2008-04-28T16:49:00.003+01:00

Humph is dead! That’s all I can think of at the mo’. The legendary Jazz musician died peacefully on Friday and although I’m sure Jazz fans everyhere will be gutted I can’t say that it was that part of his sheer lovliness that I admired. Oh no, for me it was definitely his chairmanship of ‘I’m Sorry I haven’t a Clue’. To hear an 80 year old fella getting away with the most obscene kinds of double entendre on Radio 4 at Sunday lunchtime was an awesome subversive joy. His timing was only matched by his wit and because of all this Humphrey ‘Humph’ Littleton…Bomb Culture Salutes You!!!!!

As I’m a bit gutted about the whole thing and as BC are currently squirreled away rehearsing and recording, leaving me with little to report, here’s a prime selection of Humph’s greatest hits….enjoy!

Humph on Lionel Blair –
‘What a pleasure it was during Give us a Clue to see Lionel Blair pulling off twelve angry men using just one hand.’

Humph on his longstanding but never seen / heard assistant Samantha –
"Samantha's going out now for an ice cream with her new Italian gentleman friend. She says she's looking forward to licking the nuts off a large Neapolitan."

"She's popped out to visit an old gentleman friend of hers who's a notorious curmudgeon. However, she finds that if she butters him up properly she can sometimes get him to splash out."

"In her spare time, Samantha likes nothing more than to peruse old record shops. She particularly enjoys a rewarding poke in the country section."

And finally some of his great sign-offs…

And so, as the guardsman of time strokes the bearskin of eternity, and the sergeant major of fate orders him back to the barracks to put some clothes on..."

"...And so, as the hunter of time blasts the moose of eternity, and the dairy counter worker of fate sighs and grabs her mop..."

"...And so, ladies and gentlemen, as the 4x4 of destiny on the level crossing of fate stalls in the path of the speeding freight train of doom, and the signalman of time rushes to fetch his camera..."

Oh yes people, I’ve said it once, but I’ll say it again…Bomb Culture Salutes You!!!
Bomb Culture - Gawd Bless ya Humph

Cwmaman my mouth

2008-04-21T13:37:00.003+01:00

Ahhhhh The Welsh Valleys - what wonders their fair hilly hills can bring upon the gearbox of a car. Luckily for the patrons of Saturdays Charity Gig at the Cwmaman Institute however , Bomb Culture’s Beat-Mobile’s managed this almost vertical terrain to get to the gig on time.....
Although thoroughly enjoying the gig, we did feel a little out of place as evidenced by the amount of grandparents, children and those waiting for another Oasis / Stereophonics cover….but there were enough people who warmly shook our glands after we left the stage to make it all worthwhile – anyhoo, the gig raised much needed funds for the Hospital so our work here is done. We’d like to give a big ‘Ta’ to Jaime for inviting us, Eggy for suggesting us and another to the handful of people who grooved and funked to the wobbly wibbly beats.

So where for art thou BC? Where dust thou go now then, eh? Apologies for slipping into a touch of the old Shakespearian, but what better way to tempt you with yet another hint of the upcoming album…The studio is currently resembling a Zimbabwean sweatshop that churns out T-shirts with ‘No problem here’ logo’s as hairy beat master Berty curses and punches his way through another recording session.
Recording is an enlightening and irritating experience as you suddenly find that those bits you loved from the middle of a track are actually far too long and need a good trimming, resulting in the feeling that you’ve just hacked off a major bit of your body (not exactly the penis, maybe an ear or something). It’s a right bitch I can tell ya. Anyhooo, onwards, upwards and forwards towards the Magnificent Octopus that will be BC’s first album. Ohhhh I’m quivering with the thought of it all, although that could be the valium wearing off.

I’ll leave you today with a thought on the nature of fame and the only part of last night’s Bafta’s that was worth watching – Harry Hill’s acceptance speech…'Baffy-waff!Baffy-Waffy-Wim-wham!Wim-Wham-Baffy-Whaff! Waff-waff,whiffy-waffy-wafta!'

Bomb Culture - Put the spuds on darling; I'm coming home.

Die! Monkey Die!

2008-04-18T10:10:00.010+01:00

And now an appeal on behalf of a neglected minority – Monkeys.
Due to tribal in-fighting, more Monkeys are killed each year by being thrown off cliffs by other Monkeys than by any other means of simian based duelling. You can help stop this everyday Monkey madness by simply donating yourself to the enormous Cwmaman Institute All Dayer this Saturday from 3pm.
For just £5 you can not only see a huge range of bands but you will also be donating to a fund that could help send Bomb Culture to the Bahamas where they promise to mediate between any warring factions of Monkeys that happen to cross their path.
So the choice is stark but simple… go to the Cwmaman Gig on Saturday and help stop squabbling simians or just fuck off and be a right old twat. Sorry to be so blunt but the fate of many monkeys and the way that they argue with other monkeys lies in your hands.
For details on the gig go back to the BC Website – http://www.bombculture.co.uk/

(News just in -apparently all the money is actually going to some Royal Welsh Hospital or something. Trust ill people to spoil it for everyone else - the sick selfish fuckers.)

Bomb Culture- Fiddling your Change

A little something for what ails ya..

2008-04-14T12:42:00.005+01:00

The wheels of commerce may be falling off around the World as the Global Credit Crunch bites hard on the poorest in society, house prices may be tumbling and food prices may rising…but one thing shines in the sea of gloom and depression like a beacon of beat fuelled hope – The thought that Bomb Culture’s first long player is on it’s way!! Oh yes, my friends on a chart of all that is good and lovely in the world, the imminent arrival of The Spawn of BC has even the dourest of gloom predictors doing a little jig and saying ‘Thank De Lawd that BC are here to help!” Work on the album is progressing under the hairy hoofed hands of beat monkey Berty, so relax dear hearts, soon all will be well in the World.

If, however, you’re in need of a shot of LIVE BC to get you through this harrowing bit of fiscal turbulence then the Good Ship Bomb Culture sails into the Cwmaman Institute this Saturday (19th April) with a cargo of good vibrations and full-fat beats.
Among a line-up of top toonsmiths are the rather groovy Sal (Writers of the new James Bond theme for Penguin audio books) and the ever fragrant Cakehole Presley (purveyors of some Super Sweet acoustic-a).Details can be seen on the flyer below (or for a bigger look at the flyer pop over to the BC Website – Link at the top of the page on the right). The whole thang is an all-dayer for the bargain price of a fiver.

So the dog of life may have shat on your pillow of contentment and the mouse of hate may have nibbled at your cheese of love, but be not downhearted, let the beats of BC vibrate around your nether regions and your happy sack will once again glow like the sun.
I did, and mine certainly does.

Bomb Culture - We can heal you

Bubble Bath

2008-04-09T12:53:00.001+01:00

Well the big ‘ol mystery gig in the lovely city of Bath turned out to be just as must as a mystery to the people supplying the PA as it did to the bands who were supposed to be playing… An enormous Warehouse filled with ready to go party people were able to dance (eventually)but with the PA bods forgetting to supply any microphones or a mixer it was a wee bit hard to perform for a band. Ahhhhh well, we all had a good time (apart maybe from Mr Styles, who because of driving, decided to call it a night and slept in the van whilst everyone else got fucked.-apologies for that Mr.S).
So no gig review for this one as ….er…there wasn’t one –A big up to the lovely chaps we met on the night though and a half big up to the organisers who, although managed to f-up the mics etc, did throw a good bash.
So onward ever onward chums, as the next gig is in just two short weeks on 19th April at the Cwmaman Institute, an all day event where BC will be providing support to the headliners. So if you’re turning up early, remember to stay until the end!
BC head back to the studio tonight to begin the final leg of the upcoming long-player…Oh yes indeedy, soon you shall be able to hold within your sweaty mitt a whole albums worth of the very best of BC, more news on that little puppy soon…Until then, a small bit of advice for hippies organising bands to play at their parties – You’re all very lovely and friendly but Remember the Fucking microphones people!!!
Bomb Culture – Taking a Bath in the war soapy suds of love

The return of the BC Salute!

2008-04-04T12:09:00.007+01:00

A super doper quickie today as I saw this article on Chortle.com and thought Francessca needed a bit of praise…

From Chortle.com:

Martinez in Olympic protest

Comedian Francesca Martinez has refused to carry the Olympic torch in protest at China’s human rights abuses.
The stand-up, who has celebral palsy, was invited to carry the flame through London this weekend as part of the build-up to the Beijing games.
But she has now dropped out, because of China's treatment of Tibet.
Martinez – who has appeared in Grange Hill and Extras - told ITN: ‘I was very honoured to be asked, and very honoured to represent the disabled community.
‘I fully support the Tibetan cause and in a way I feel that, because of the mounting pressure and the ongoing violence in Tibet, that torch-bearers should turn down their role.’
Hundreds of protesters are expected to line the route when the torch passes through the capital on Sunday. Britain's number one badminton player Richard Vaughan has also refused to take part in the relay, but the 80 torch bearers will include former Blue Peter presenter Konnie Huq and Olympic gold medallists Dame Kelly Holmes, Tessa Sanderson and Duncan Goodhew.

In my humble opinion, the people who still try to say that sports and politics have nothing to do with each other and profess that the Olympics is somehow a way of bringing the world together, should maybe take another look at the Greek authorities kicking an punching a man to the ground. His crime? Carrying a flag with intent to wave. The Tibetans are being killed by a repressive hideous regime, which frankly the West is scared shitless of glossing it all over so some twat can get their 5 minutes of fame with a burning stick is abhorrent. So a great big Fuck You to Konnie Huq, Kelly Holmes, Tessa Sanderson and Duncan Goodhew.
But to Francesca Martinez….Bomb Culture SALUTES YOU!!!!

If your coming, see y’all at the ‘do’ on Saturday night…If not, get yourself up to London line the procession route and let the flag waving begin – just be on the look out for boot wielding Greeks.
Bomb Culture – Bleep,bleep,wobble,bleep

Kipperjam nipple biscuits

2008-03-31T12:59:00.003+01:00

So then, what happened with BC’s return to the live arena? Was it a hot throbbing blast of pulsating musicality or floppy towel-ette drenched in the moisture of a thousand Frenchmen….Welll, I am pleased as the proverbial punch to reveal that BC’s standing in the world of the thumping beat is on solid ground as a to be fair, relatively sparse crowd (it was a Sunday) boogied, wobbled and wibbled their hot thangs to the groove of the Culture. A massive cheers to everyone who turned out for the gig and especially to the peeps who came up and got a CD after the gig. Very cool people, and with obviously exceptional taste.

Unfortunately for our Visual Slut The Darkside Gallery, the projector packed up minutes into the start of the set leaving him red-faced and growling like an especially angry chipmunk. Normal service will hopefully be resumed for Mr Sul when he returns to the BC fold for the next ‘public’ gig at the Cwmaman Institute on 19th April. We shall be without his services for the next gig as The Darkside Gallery will be exhibiting their deviant artwork next Sunday in Swansea. So if your in Swansea next Sunday and ya wanna see some shit hot pop-culture art then pop on over to http://www.thedarksidegallery.co.uk/ for full details. Photos of last nights gig will be up on the main website as soon as we can arsed to put them there. A word must go to the sterling work of The Hustle, Box of Thumbs and the rather lovely KC all of whom we’re genuinely friendly and a bit of a joy to be on the bill with. Nice one chaps!

So where now then my little puppies? Well, the next gig will, I’m afraid be a private affair in a super-dooper secret locale, if you don’t know what we’re on about then worry not and we’ll see ya up at Cwmaman….
So to sum up, with the new additions of Professor Krisps and Mr Styles on top form the brand new line-up delivered all that we hoped it would and even a wee bit more…BC is back baby, backity backity backity back,back,back

Bomb Culture – Oh baby that’s-a what I like

Back once again with the renegade hamsters

2008-03-25T21:07:00.004Z

Welcome to the all-new, all shiny BC Website, of which this old blog is just a teeny weeny part. With the oncoming double header of this Sunday's return to the live arena at Cardiff Barfly (with our good friends, KC, Box of Thumbs and The Hustle) and the following weeks super-dooper mystery gig, we've been a little busy of late, so appologies for the bare bones of news but busy is as busy does....or sometyhing. Anyhooooo, suffice to say, there will be a full report of BC's return to the stage with the BRAND NEW LINEUP and BRAND NEW TOONS, next week....Until then, try to keep out of trouble kids, oh and don't forget to smash the state. Much Love BC

Bomb Culture - A little taste of honey in a world gone sour.

BC Jumps to Lightspeed! Introducing the incredible brand spanking new Website!!

2008-03-18T11:35:00.003Z

Oh yeah babies that’s a Ten -Four daddio, we is all super-doopery speedy fast and under one umbrella site at last! If, unlike my good self your not down with ‘the kids’ then the news is thus….The Brand Spanking New Bomb Culture Website is almost open for busy-ness.

To coincide with our God Lord returning to hand out luxury egg-shaped Kit-Kats the new Website will go online this Very Good Friday! So if you’re looking for this here blog and all the nonsense it entails then just keep on using http://www.bombculture.co.uk/ and on Friday you will be magically whisked to the new web page. To access the blog from there you’ll just need to click on the NEWS BLOG logo on the front page. Simple eh?
“But what will we find there, oh wise one?” I hear you ask….Well my inquisitive friend there’s some profiles, archive and upcoming Gigs, a piece on the Origins of BC and a big fat link pages over to our Myspace / Blog /Band Tat merchandise pages….

We’re spanking fresh at the mo’ so there ain’t a huge amount of content but keep your dial tuned as there soon will be…

So gird your loins, strap on your strap on and hold your damn breath, Bomb Culture is about to go all Web site-y like, innit.
Bomb Culture – Riding a Sinclair C5 down the Information Superhighway

In BC we trust...

2008-03-11T13:01:00.005Z

A lovely little bag of gigs are beginning to shape up for BC’s next assault on the earholes of Britain and the first of those are revealed to you…..wait for it….now!

March 30th – Barfly Cardiff
April 5th –Super Secret location / Gig
April 19th – Cwmaman Institue
May 17th – Conti’s Cardiff

Obviously we can only reveal a few dates a time as we wouldn’t you going off and creaming your jeans with the sheer excitement, nay pleasure at being able to see BC so many times, so watch this space…well not this exact space….oh you know what I mean.

Saturday night saw a rare solo outing for the King of the Wobbly beat Mr Berty Trousers. Berty would like to pass on a big ‘Yeah, Ta’ to all the young dudes who turned up and shook their very sizeable thangs along to the firm and fruity beats of the Bertmeister. The set was preceded by a banging little movement from occasional Sicknote-er Tommy Tank and followed by the throbbing Phantom Beats. All in all a rather lovely time was had by all.

As before construction is still going ahead on the Brand Spanking New BC Website so I can’t be arsed with a rant today…oh alright just a little one. …. Speaking on Radio 4 the other day Billy Bragg made a good point that there are plenty of people alive today who hold The Queen in great respect, from a point of view that when they fought in World War 2 for King and Country they also fought, by extension, for our present Queen. This then leads to a certain amount of due respect…Fair enough methinks …but as Mr Bragg pointed out that will probably die along with her Royal Swan-eating-ness and the same due reverence does not necessarily continue on to Charles or (God Forbid) his sons. Which brings me to the suggestion that we should all salute the flag – Starting from Primary School – in the hope that this will instil some kind of ‘British-ness’ into this Binge drinking, Sun Reading, Lotto playing, foul mouthed yob infested culture of ours. Also it will apparently ‘weed out terrorists’ as they would refuse to salute the flag….Yeah that’ll fool ‘em. I bet mass-murderers would never lie. As for making us feel more British, I think it could actually be a good idea, as what is more British than telling someone in authority to go fuck themselves, which is what will invariably happen if you ask anyone under the age of 60 to pledge an allegiance to The Royal Family.

If you truly want to make a cohesive Britain try cutting out lies, corruption, scare-mongering, and stop turning every city into a surveillance society and thereby making every ‘citizen’ feel like a criminal. How about running that up a flag pole and seewho salutes?
Ahhh fuck it I’m off to DOWNLOAD A FREE TRACK from the BC Myspace page…Ahhh I can feel the endorphins releasing already….

Bomb Culture – Soundbytes of the rabid kind.

Let your Filth fly

2008-03-04T10:18:00.005Z

Well, a lot is a-movin’ and a-shakin’ in the BC camp…apart from the FREE DOWNLOAD AVAILABLE HERE!!!....BC is hammering ahead with it’s roster of gigs including a super ultra secret gig taking place in an ‘unknown’ venue soon…(oooh it’s like the early 90’s all over…now where are me glowstix and white gloves….) Also moving ahead with the speed of a rocket-powered snail is the brand spanking new BC Website! Yep, after all this time we’ve decided to pull every little thing together under one roof, including archive tracks, shows and piccys. Lord knows when this little beauty will be up and running but fear not for as soon as it is we’ll let ya know…
With all this work and general shenanigans going on I’ve barely had time for a good old rant, so if you wish to take up the mantle of The Rant then please feel free to do so via the gift of the comments box below.
To get you started here’s a few topics to Rant about…

1) Prince Harry in Iraq
2) Prince Harry not in Iraq
3) Prince Harry in Chelsea (pictures would be good)
4) The rise in the price of a packet of Space Raiders by 5pence
5) Russian Elections
6) Lussian Erections
7) The laziness of the BC Blogger how tries to get other people to write his rants for him

Remember, all RANTS must be no longer than the time it takes to exhale whilst screaming at the top of your voice.

And finally – Remember to get your sorry arses down to The Club With No Name in Cardiff this very Saturday to see Berty beat his shaft in time to the rhythm as he joins the MI CASA line-up (including Phantom Beats and Sicknote’s very own Tommy Tank) to make your booty shake and/or shimmy. At the cost of just 3 British pounds it's a bleedin' bargain!

Bomb Culture: More of the same with less of the similar

Free! It's free! Thanks God in Heaven it's Free!

2008-02-21T10:35:00.007Z

CLICK ON ME - I WILL LEAD YOU TO FREE BOMB CULTURE TRACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

That’s right my lovely BC buddies we have put up an exclusive FREE TO DOWNLOAD track on the old Myspacey thing. So today there will be no ranting, no terrible gags or any other such nonsense just straight up and down publicity grabbing shilling!
But wait, is that a question coming in on the BC message-o-nator…

‘Dear Mr Bomb Culture-y person man, what is this new track of which you speak?’
Well me little scrotum, it’s a cover of the Leftfield /Lydon stomper Open Up and yes, it’s free to download.
‘But Mr Bomb Culture-y Person Man, why so generous?’
Well, my little fourth battalion, what better way to showcase our brand spanking new line-up than to give you a sneaky tasty peek of our brand new aural vibrations
‘Dear God, Mr Bomb Culture-y Person Man, does this mean that a new CD is on it’s way?’
Yes, indeed my inquisitive pal, it surely does – a 3 track CD will be available so soon it aches and the Tracks will also be available from Indiestore.
‘So what of future plans Mr Bomb..etc..etc’
The future is a pancake yet to be smothered in treacle my friend, but I can tell you that on the very near horizon is a spanking new website, the long awaited album and of course a raft of gigs stretching from here to…ohhh…over there.
‘So should I strap on my strap on and brace for a thrust of hot BC musical action then?’
Yes, yes you should. Now, assume the position.

At this point the BC Message-o-nator became to sticky to read and so we’ll turn our attention to the other happenings in the BC Universe with a couple of gentle reminders…
Hairy/Bald beast in Solo Set shocker…..Oh yes, as mentioned last time, erstwhile Captin Caveman Lookey-likey Berty Trousers will be playing his crazy-ass live show on March 8th at The Club With No Name….See below……..

And of course we can’t finish without another mention of BC’s gig at the Barfly on March 30th… More about this coming soon, but for now just enjoy the joyful glory of this poster…

Are you still here? Go and get downloading you filthy bitch! Go, Go now!
Bomb Culture - Downloadable lovliness

Lots and Lots to see and do

2008-02-14T12:29:00.002Z

Not a whole hell of a lot of news today just a great big slice of promotion….First up is a solo live set from our very own pet furball Berty trousers at The Club With No Name on March 8th. Berty will be playing mashed-up bleeps and wibbly noises until his little furry face puffs into the shape of …ohhhh, lets say an otter.

Also on it’s way it the fabulous return of BC, oh yes, we is lining up a whole heap o’ gigs for the BRAND NEW LINE –UP to showcase the BRAND NU TOONS! Oh yes, I do so love my caps-lock.. So cast your peepers downward for details of this somewhat seismic event..
Finally, (told you there was little news today) keep hold of your panties as we celebrate the return to the live stage with a super duper absolutely FREE DOWNLOAD!! OH yeah! Tune in next week as we unveil not only our first cover version but also our first new track from the up-coming album and it can be yours abso-bloody-lutley free!! Keep your peepers peeled all will be revealed next week….
Bomb Culture – Free to do what we want any old time

2008-02-07T10:12:00.000Z

And so as the recording rolls on with three nu toons almost in the bag (including one super-sweet cover) the gears turn for the enormous return of BC to both the airwaves and the live stage. To celebrate this hugely important event we bring back one of our favourite features....Bomb Culture FACTS!

Oh yes, dear looking-at-this-page person, here in no particular order are the top Six things you never knew, or never knew you wanted to know about your most favouritist bunch of wibbly noise and hard rocking beat merchants…

1) Unfathomably lovely backing vocalist Selma is actually related to the Romanov Dynasty and if it hadn’t been for that pesky revolution she would now be Tsar of all of Russia. ‘Yes, it’s true I’m a pinko commie ruskie, I like dancing bears, furry hats and odd rotund yet pointy buildings.’ Said Selma before downing a vodka and doing one of those dances where your legs flay out and it looks like your on strings or something.

2) Foul smelling man-bear Berty Trousers has decided to leave his body to medical science. Medical science however has rejected it saying that ‘We don’t take any old rubbish y’know. His withered genitals are especially insulting. Bloody Vegans’. How true eh readers?

3) Rat-catching backwards hick guitarist Steve Styles can be found most weekends foraging in the undergrowth hoping to feed his perverse appetite for anal sex with moles.

4) When not fiddling with his visuals, ex-beggar and unearthly street urchin Mr Sul can be found drowning his sorrows in a bottle of Grecian 2000. The depraved lush believes that drinking the fashionably 70’s hair tonic will not only turn his sliver wizard-like locks black, but will also give him the ability to rotate cumquats with his mind.

5) Be-quiffed hamster-cheeked lothario Mr J has never told a lie. ‘Yes, it’s true, I have never lied’ said the seven foot love-monster ‘In fact if I ever did may I be rubbed down with oils and gently cuddled by lovely girls’.

6) Before each gig Bomb Culture re-take their cycling proficiency tests and then parade their certificates around the other bands dressing rooms. ‘It gives us a psychological edge’ they all said at once.

So there you go, 6 things you really didn’t care about or need to know brought to you in full colour BC-O-Vision..Next time….Actual band news I shit you not!

Bomb Culture – Check ignition and may God’s Love be with you.

Bubble Bath

2008-01-30T16:51:00.000Z

As I sit here masticating on a fruit fancy I wonder ‘When oh when will those brand new BC tracks that I’ve been hearing so little about appear?’ Well fear not me and my thoughts, for the first few tracks are laid and are awaiting that most essential piece of production…the mix.
In layman’s terms this is where the vocals, bass geetar and beats are delicately poured into a large vat filled with the raging power of a thousand raging suns. From here they are lovingly ‘mixed’ by the almost ape-like fists of our production maestro Mr Bertrund ‘ Half a sixpence’ Trousers.
Once mixed the track is then slammed into the arse of erstwhile rat-cathing Geetar slut, Mr Steve Styles. Using the time honoured method of musical irrigation the tune is then colonic-lly spat into the magically digital smelting pot where the BC elves add just a soupcon of pixie dust and a handful of upper-lip moisture.
This is then left to fester for ¾ of a day before emerging like a rhythmic butterfly onto the airwaves of the Net which we like to call Inter, and the shiny plastic C of the D.
The spawn of all this musical activity will be coming real soon people, so begin your aural cleansing regime NOW! Only the finest fur-free ears will be able to sample the delights which are about to pour forth.
Oh and if your wondering what’s happening with the newly christened BC Big 5,000th Hit…The stat is currently ticking over at 4,481, so you still have plenty of time to get in those pictures of you abusing electrical implements..(Details available below)….
Bomb Culture – Wronging the rights that others dither about.

No News is bad news

2008-01-24T11:32:00.000Z

First off some great big Snogs to The Darkside Gallery for their delightful BC Inspired artwork (as seen above). I always love to see major World leaders being taken roughly up the pooper by a hideous Multinational mascots..so huzzah to to The Darkside Gallery! If you’d like to see any more of these frankly disturbing works go here…

Well the first tracks have been laid and now the mixing begins! Yep, here at BC Towers movement is occurring on the Brand New CD, which should be winging it’s way to all good outlets sometime at the start of Spring. We are without a name for this Opus so if ya wanna send in suggestions then we’ll happily have a look at them before deleting without so much as a second thought.
Wait a moment what’s that I hear you cry?
‘But BC, who won The Big BC 4432nd Hit? Tell us you magnificent creature?’
Well in a moment of peculiar irony as I clicked on the site to check the stats and I actually became the 4,432nd viewer, so….I won. Yes, a disappointment and something of a let-down to our regular readers, but fuck it what have you ever done for me eh? To bring balance to the universe I have decided to go for the far more conventional and much- easier-to-string-out BC 5,000 Big Hit! Yep, rules are the same (See previous entry below) but this time you need to be 5,000th viewer…Exciting eh?

Anyhoooooooo in the ongoing quest to keep you entertained whilst BC are recording their BRAND NEW material here’s a quick list of things I find disagreeable, unpleasant or just really shite:

1.The Feeling (Especially when they play any music, move about or breath)

2.The rise in price of a packet of Space Raiders from 10p to 15p –Do we get anymore Pickled Onion flavour corn snacks for this outrageous 50% rise? No we do fucking not.

3.The BBC doing 60 Second ‘Newsbursts’ on BBC One –How much fucking news do we need? They have a 24 New channel that I can ‘access’ for my ‘update of all that is topical’ by using my ‘fucking finger’. (Deep Breath) Stop fucking telling me useless shit that I don’t need to know, just so I can join the plebeian scum that sit on the sidelines and tut about trials and ongoing investigations that they know nothing about apart from the scant ‘facts’ given to them by a channel that needs to fill it’s 24 hour remit by making news out of nothing.

4.The Gathering Economic Storm - The word ‘may’ should never appear in a News broadcast – It’s a simple fucking concept- it’s not news unless it has happened, stop whipping the populace into a frenzy about the massive economic crash at least until it has actually happened. If you think you can smell smoke There are reasons for not running into a room screaming ‘You’re all going to be burnt alive , run , run!!’ y’know..
5.Annie Lennox – I believe this is self explanatory

Next time on Bomb Culture – The Ultimate contest Kilamanjaro takes on Everest in some hot Mountain on Mountain action! Also! Osama Bin Laden’s Secret Lair takes on Wookey Hole in the Cave Smackdown event of the year!!

Bomb Culture – Ta-Ta-Ta-Ta-Ta-ta-ta-ta-taaaa -Take or leave us only please believe us we ain’t never gonna be respecubble

Made to make your mouth water

2008-01-18T11:17:00.001Z

Well bugger me sideways with a fist of pure love, the BC’s 4,432nd Big Hit competition is already almost done!! At the time of writing (9.30 on 18th January) there was only a handful of hits left before we reach the utterly random and in no way meaningful number of 4,432!!! Remember kids the 4,432nd person to look at this blog will receive a Genuinely authentic Bomb Culture T-Shirt ….but we need proof! So the rules stipulate that to prove you are not just a casual visitor to this blog but a bona fide BC friend then we need to see you performing a deviant act on an electrical implement, just like our first entrants attempt….

Sadly, it looks like this entrant, a Miss Polly Wannacracker from the Parish of Wold on the Wold has mistaken Dead American Cross Dressing commie-hating Sneaky bastard J.Edgar Hoover for an actual Hoover. A simple mistake that I’m sure anyone could have made. But they didn’t, she did. Thick bitch.
So keep on keeping on, the stat counter is ticking..
Next time…Band News! Yes actual band news will be on the bands blog for people who want to know about the band and not just a random bunch of shit about stuff and things..
Bomb Culture –Touching ourselves so you don’t have to.

The BC 4,432 Big Hit!!!

2008-01-11T15:31:00.000Z

Has it been that long??? That’s the question I asked just the other day when I saw the BC Blog counter roll over to 4,389 hits! Yes dear reader in celebration of this utterly random amount we proudly announce the BC 4,432 Big Hit!!! With very little else to report on until the next gig, BC are rolling out another pointless competition and it’s as easy as your mother on a Saturday night! We are going to give away a fabulous Bomb Culture T-Shirt to the 4,432nd viewer of this blog!!! All you need to do is keep on viewing and if you’re lucky (or stupid) enough to be the 4,432nd viewer you will win a BC T-Shirt. Of course we need proof that you’ve actually read the blog/ are a genuine lover of the bracing beats of the bomb and aren’t one of those casual viewers who are looking for a blog about the book ‘Bomb Culture’ by that bloke who died…y’know…whatsisname. To prove this we need to see a picture of yourself doing something deviant to either an animal or an electrical implement. Now, considering the sheer amount of animals and electrical devices there are in the world this should prove no problem, especially to longstanding readers of this massive pile of cack. So get cracking folks! You could be just one badly photo-shopped picture away from a delicious piece of BC Memorabilia!
Actual band news coming soon….I promise……
Bomb Culture – Widening the gap between your ears

Once, twice, three times a ging-a

2008-01-07T15:13:00.000Z

So here we are again, standing at the dawn of a new year looking out across the landscape of all our hopes and dreams and thinking ‘When do I get another holiday?’. Personally, I love Christmas and all the New Year shenanigans but as I spent all of it shivering and slightly delirious with the flu, you’ll have to excuse the bitter and slightly acidic tinge to my tone. So without further ado, I’ll jump straight to the question on everyone’s quivering lips… what is going on with the Big ‘Ol BC?
Well the bloated and pudding filled frame of everyone’s favourite beat monkey is getting itself back into shape on the treadmill of new toons, ready to burst back on to the live scene for March 30th with a gig at Cardiff’s Barfly. Now I know that seems like a bit of a way off for all our BC pals who are thirsty for a sip of the old Bomb Culture vino, so just for you we’ll be sorting out a few ‘intimate’ warm-up gigs…news of which will be appearing here (fairly) soon(ish).

In other news, the BBC’s new Saturday night shite fest ‘The One and Only’ managed to top the fact that it’s a ‘talent’ show for celebrity look-a-likes by giving the top prize in the ‘Look like Lionel Ritchie’ category (Yep, seriously) to a ginger haired white bloke. They even blacked the guy up to make him more ‘ethnic’…Am I alone in thinking that it surely can’t be too long before ‘Strictly Minstrels’ comes zooming onto to our screens, where Bobby Davro, Ian from Eastenders and That bloke from that thing (y’know whatsisface), shove on afro wigs, whip down onto one knee and sing ‘Mammy’ whilst a panel of judges berate them for not being quite offensive enough?

Actually the whole ‘blacked up’ part of the show wasn’t that bad (especially as I was only half watching and didn’t realise he was until his interview) –It’s more the celebration of mediocrity that really pisses in my eyes. The idea that camp and kitsch entertainment equals family entertainment is endearing, especially in a country still so rife with homophobia, but the point is that by definition they are shite – That is exactly why they are camp and kitsch.

We think of ourselves as being some how more cultured than the rest of the world, yet our most popular cultural touchstones celebrate the banal and sub-standard, reaching ever lower for something with mass appeal that can unify a nation so fucking idiotic it thinks a ginger haired white guy pretending to be Lionel Ritchie is the height of Saturday night entertainment.
Ahh well fuck it, maybe it’s me that’s the fuckin’ idiot, why don’t I just take a stiff drink, a shot of valium, relax and let it wash over me. Ahhhhh that’s better…mind numbing…thoughts going away….hurrrrrr hur hur…ginger Lionel is funny…..ha ha…ha.
Bomb Culture - Hunting the wabbit of lies, with the gweat big gun of twuth

Snowy globes of Love and Peace

2007-12-18T10:08:00.000Z

As the final days before the inevitable gorging of ale and pies that had come to be known as Christmas and old father time lops the head off another year with his scythe of inevitability, it’s time methinks for a wee bit of reflection…2007 has been a bit of an upside down, crazy arse year for BC, we’ve played more gigs and enjoyed the seminal delights of more festivals than ever – along the way we’ve seen the sublime (Plan B, Subsource) and the ridiculous (….far too gentlemanly to say who…). We have received rave reviews (thank you NP LIFE, Vinyl Hog etc, etc) and one horrible one (again far to polite to point out who…but have a hearty old tinsel tinged Fuck You from us.)
We’ve lost one band member and gained two new ones…So where oh where does that leave the prospects for the Big ‘Ol BC for 2008….Well our bunker hunkering has so far produced a whole new set filled with enormous beats and crunching geetars – So in answer to my own question, 2008 will see a whole new chapter for the story, nay the legend of the one, the very much only… Bomb Culture

Meanwhile back at BC Towers....In our ongoing quest to bring you closer to the band that you love we asked ‘What will BC do for Christmas?’ and here are just some of the answers….

Furry bald beat monkey and bass fiddling self molester Berty will be ‘watching the Queen’s Speech with all the reverence due to our beloved Monarch.’ He goes on to say ‘My big furry hand will be wrapped around my tiny little winky and I’ll be bashing away with some furry over her Madge’s divine God given right to eat swans.’

Erstwhile Chip-shop rat-catching geetar slut Steve Styles, says ‘I’ll be enjoying my Christmas dinner of fish fingers and sourkraut whilst warming my one good testicle over a charcoal briquette.’

Half crazed she wolf Selma however believes that ‘Christmas is a time for hunting midgets with a spear gun’.

Meanwhile Silver haired goat bothering VJ Mr Sul, thinks that ‘Everyone should come together to celebrate their love of humanity and hatred of Morrisey.’ Morrisey however, disagrees and believes that Sul is a twat and a half. What do you think, eh readers?

Finally, flaxen haired muscle bound greek-God –like Hunk Mooseglove says that ‘Christmas time is all about Mistletoe and Wine, Children Singing in Christian Rhyme and other such things. It is definitely not about felching or teabagging, so just leave it out okay? Think of the kids.’

And finally……
The Great Rock N Roll Pickle Contest….And so it is with great moisture that I announce the winning entry in the contest that has changed it’s name more times than I can remember (because I can never remember what it was originally called)…After great deliberation the winning entry is………..from Mr. Ugly Man Sul!!

And here for our delectation is his entry proudly displayed in Santa’s Grotto!

Congratulations Mr Sul – a cool frosty pint of booze will be winging it’s way to you from BC Towers any minute now! Look out for a brand new competition in the New year!

So as the Crimbo festivities begin, I’d be quite surprised if I was arsed to update this shit until at least after New Year, so with that in mind a very Merry Christmas to all our reader….(s).

Bomb Christmas – Everything is dangerous if you're stupid.

Right-on Bright-on

2007-12-06T11:46:00.000Z

Yep, still no new gig/ band news as yer most lovely bunch of spunk monkeys work on a whole heap o’ nu toons, so let’s give in to the primeval urge to RANT…..

Ahh Brighton, home of the de-camped London property investor, resting actor, mung bean soup slurper, kiss me quick hat wearer, clenched fist political warrior, dog on string stink merchant and now maniacal censorship imposing human rights champion. Yep in the land of all things Right-On, a ban has been declared on Homophobic rap music in case it offends the city's large gay population. Now, then where do we start with this...Well let’s begin by paraphrasing, ‘I may not like what you have to say, but I will defend your right to say it’. See? Simple isn’t it?

If we are going to ban offensive music then why not start with Phil Collins - Think of the joy spread across the globe if the phrase ‘Su-Su-Sudio’ was never heard again! And while we’re at it lets take out Westlife, KT Tunstall, Elton John and Anyone who says their own name in a record (Craig David, I’m looking at you). We can put them all on some deserted island and make them fight it out ‘Lord of the Flies’ stylee (Although it may be a toss-up as to who will be ‘Piggy’, Elton John or Phil Collins…Hmmmm, fuck it, stone them both.)
It boils down to this If I want to say that homophobic rap music is listened to by ignorant twats then I have just as much right to say so as the ignorant twat does to listen to that shit in the first place. He thinks I’m a twat and I think he is – the twain may never be met but that’s what Freedom of Speech is all about. If you have a problem, refine your argument, win with words not draconian legislation that puts you in the same totalitarian light as your aggressor. Then again you could always go for my ‘MOR Battle Royale on The Island of Offence’ idea…Anyone? Anyone? Aww fuck it, I’m off to listen to Cliff Richards new Christmas single -'Blame it on the Jews'. Yeeeee-ha!

Oh and the pickle contest is still on people, get those entries entered on the double!

Bomb Culture – Strumming the guitar of hate with the pick of love

A bitch behind the eyes

2007-11-28T15:42:00.000Z

Urrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrgh, why is it when you wake up in a great amount of pain it’s usually because you got heavily pissed the night before? It’s such an abominable cliché that I am embarrassed to admit that I am hungover as fuck (Note the loss of eloquence in the prose). So to be ferpectly honest with you, dear eye-ball using reading person, I can barely be arsed to tap my fingers on the keyboard or think of anything interesting to write…Thank God then for The Great Rock N’ Roll Pickle Challenge!! Oh yes, literally thousands of entries have been dragging themselves in through the catflap here at BC Towers, just like this little smasher from a Mr. J Bergerac, Jersey Road, Jersey. He writes:

Hello there Bomb Culture, I thought you may be interested to see this picture from my last vacation (no, I’m not American I just can’t spell the word holiday) It was taken during a super trip to Hawai‘i's Kilauea volcano. I drove my shiny sports car all the way along the rim whilst wolfing down some delicious marmalade. Surely I should win some kind of prize?

Well, sadly Mr B, marmalade is actually a preserve and not a pickle so I’m afraid it doesn’t count. Better luck next time eh ya dozy cock.
In Band News – BC’s Smurf sized geetar twanger, Steve Styles has started a new job as a ratcatcher for his local chippy. ‘It’s great’ said Steve ‘I loves rats and I loves to catch them. It’s great.’
So there you have it you’re all up to date with everything.

Bomb Culture – Plink, Plink fizz, fizz, oh what a relief they is.

Growl, Snarl,etc etc...

2007-11-21T16:34:00.000Z

Nothing to report today as once again, the irritatingly news-free BC are busily beavering away at their brand nu toons…(all to be revealed soon )….So I am again left with little to say. As I can’t be arsed for a fully fledged rant today I have decided to follow the cliché of the blogging geek and make a list of the things that are irritating, bugging or thoroughly annoying the shit out of me this week…So here we go…

Annie Lennox- The preachy caterwauling self-proclaimed diva has managed to release a single so woefully out of time it is an embarrassment to anyone who posses ears. ‘Let my sisters sing’ she wails like a born again suffregette. Frankly if this is what your ‘sister’ sounds like then it’s probably a good idea to tell her to shut the fuck up.

BBC TV Centre – They’re selling it to save money, yet BBC3 keeps getting funding! If I wanted to watch Little Fucking Britain and ‘Two pints of lager and a desperately unfunny packet of shite’ four hundred times a night I’d buy the DVD’s or, preferably, dig my own eyes out with a splintered wooden spoon.

Prefab bands Re-uniting – Following in the slipstream of Take That’s re-entry into the Poptastic stratosphere a whole slew of over the hill boy/girl bands are wading into the market. Spice Girls (or aging Spice Hags, if you will), West ‘twatting’ Life, even East 17 are all throwing themselves forward. People, please stop buying this bollocks! You are only encouraging them. Please be brave and go do something more constructive, such as ripping off your own ears as they are quite clearly useless.

Phew! Glad I got that off my phlegm filled chest I’m ready for a nice lay down now…Oh and don’t forget to keep those pickle entries rolling in, the deadline is drawing near and if you wanna be in with a chance of winning you gotta send in that picture .Just click on EMAIL US!!! Above and lets see your tangy round objects of desire folks.
Bomb Culture - Thumbs up for Len Fairclough.

Berty bounces back!

2007-11-15T13:02:00.000Z

With your favourite bunch of meedlesome toonsmiths hunkered deep within BC Towers thrashing out their brand nu toons with their brand nu line-up, you may be feeling a little itchy for some electro fuzz to play with your head…Well feel itchy no more, for our very own Beat Monkey and generally furry fella, Mr Berty Trousers has broken free of the chains used to hold him down and escaped to do a very special live appearance…Here is the communiqué from the illiterate man-ape himself!

oi you lot come and check me playing on the old fashioned computer doing the old bass/breakbeat/tekno/punky/funky/bleeps and wibbles on Monday the next {19th} its at Tommys bar in the art college in splott, and there will be a proper band too. and art .

How could you, possibly miss such an awesome rare live appearance by everyone’s favourite fur-lined funster? I know I can’t (probably because he’ll hurt me if I do)…
In other news…Pickle pictures are still rolling in and the deadline of 14th December is getting ever nearer. To be in with any chance of winning get those pictures in NOW! Now I say NOW!

Bomb Culture – Guilty by association

Double Entry!

2007-11-06T11:05:00.000Z

The Pickletastic entries for The Great Rock N’ Roll Pickle Challenge are coming in thick and fast – To see previous entries just look below! Today’s entrant comes from Mr Sul of The Dark Side Gallery:

Mr Sul wrote: ‘I Don't know if this qualifies for your competition, but I was rooting through my old album and found this. Here is a photo of me and the boys from Slipknot enjoying some fine pickled gherkins and generally larking around as London burns to the ground in the Great Fire (circa 1666). The more eagle-eyed amongst you will also spot a young and virile Scott Gibbs descending from the Heavens to put Wales 33-32 up against England in the closing seconds of the Six Nations championship, as was the style in those days. Him and the rest of the team later joined me and Slipknot for a celebratory pickled beetroot sandwich. Unfortunately no photographic evidence exists of this occasion. Do I win a badge?’

Well, Mr Sul, the judging is far from over, so the only badge we can give you at the moment is a badge of honour, but here at BC Towers we can say that an entry of this calibre is definitely in the running for the overall prize. So, do you think you can do better? Remember the critera is simple - You eating a pickle (could be onion, could be gerkhin, the choice is yours) in the most Rock N' Roll environment / way possible. Are you gonna let some other shmuck win? I think not!Get those entries rolling on in.

Bomb Culture – Seemingly devoid of band news

Ace o’ Spades

2007-11-05T14:03:00.000Z

In the pantheon of ‘Great Stuff That The Human Body Can Do’ there are a myriad of facts that continue to astound and amaze the analytical mind. Facts such as these:

A cough releases an explosive charge of air that moves at speeds up to 60 mph

Every person has a unique tongue print.

Each square inch of human skin consists of twenty feet of blood vessels.

Humans shed about 600,000 particles of skin every hour - about 1.5 pounds a year. By 70 years of age, an average person will have lost 105 pounds of skin.

Amongst the billions of incredible things your body can do probably the greatest is to produce another human being (although that sneeze thing is pretty cool), and so it is with a great deal of ‘Woo-Hoo’-ing that BC gives their old Geetar chum, John ‘The Hat’ Hill and his good lady-love Kate a big ‘Good On ya’ for the birth of the little boy. Although The Hat will now be swapping Geeatars, for nappies we wish them both all the very best-est n’ stuff.

In Band News…The rejuvination and re-invention of BC grows apace as newbie geetar chap, Mr Styles ramps up the finger-picking goodness on a few new secret tracks…The Big ‘Ol BC will be hunkering down working on brand nu beats away from the winter chill for a wee while, but when we return, it will be akin to a butterfly breaking free of it’s cocoon (Albeit a pissed up, unshaven butterfly who nicks your wallet and sleeps with your sister ,but a butterfly nonetheless).

Whilst BC are cowering from old Jack Frost and his armies of windy old wind, our erstwhile beat Monkey, Mr. Berty Trousers will be breaking cover for a very special one-off collaboration…more on this real soon…

And finally…The Great Pickle competition continues apace with this fine entry of another entrant showing their Rock N’ Roll Pickletastic ways. This time our pickle-eater is sitting on the very edge of time itself whilst Jimi Hendrix burns his geetar and Mary Shelly writes Frankenstein .

Another great rock n’ roll n' pickle picture, I’m sure you’ll agree, but it’s all still to play for so get those entries rolling in.!

Bomb Culture- Welcome to the World little fella!

More power to ya elbow!

2007-10-24T12:24:00.000+01:00

Whilst BC are banging away at shaping the very finest-est of toons for your listening pleasure (new toons should be up very soon), our attention is once again drawn to the ongoing competition to win a pint of frothy ale at the next BC gig courtesy of Mama Bomb Culture’s El Diablo Pickled Onions of Love and Destiny…..And ladies and gentlemen the first entry is in!
Uploaded by a mystery emailer the picture shows a BC Buddy stuffing his chops with a delicious onion-based snack! Yum Yum! –As you may already know, the rules stipulate that the pickles must be eaten in a Rock N’ Roll Styleee, and what could be more R N’ R than chowing down on God’s own onions as the riders of the apocalypse bear down upon you and lemmy batters your eardrums with a rousing chorus of Ace of Spades? If you think you can do better then let’s see what you got! If your pickle-tastic entry is deemed good enough we’ll send you an extra special prize of a Bomb Culture lighter! (Although there are no guarantees that it will reach you – what with the mail these days and all. I mean, I was down the post office the other day, and well, you wouldn’t believe the queue, I was there so long I ended up having to eat my own excrement).
So here for your delectation is the first entry….

Wot a beauty eh? Tune in next time when we’ll be asking “Ladels or Spatulas- Personal choice or moral decision?”
Bomb Culture – In the dictionary under ‘Despicably Lovley’

BC Episode 3 :A New Dope

2007-10-17T12:21:00.000+01:00

Oooooh look! What be that thingy over there? No not there, over there….Yep that’s it – It look suspiciously like a link to Indiestore where you can buy some top quality toons from your favourite bunch of beat monkeys, Bomb Culture! Well wadyya know? These toons are now on a limited lifespan as BC enter their BRAND NEW DAWN! Oh yeah the BND of BC has arrived and the old toons will soon be swept away in a tsunami of re-imagining and re-working as we welcome to the ample Bomb Culture bosom our brand new Geetar slut…Messster Styles! There’s still some work to go before we unveil to you lucky punters the g-string twiddling genius of this miniature maestro, but in the next few weeks we’ll be tempting and teasing your aural pleasure glands with a few nu toons, fresh from the steaming bowels of BC Towers. (For the eagle-eyed among you - the other wee chap on our Newspaper exclusive is our elusive VJ, Mr Sul, not the soon-to-be-reveled MR Styles).
In other news…The Great BC pickle challenge is hotting up! As detailed in the last bulletin (below), BC have bestowed upon the world the secret of their great tune -smithery, namely Mama Bomb Culture's EL Diablo Pickled Onions of Love and Destiny. A brave few chums of BC have decided to plunge into the murky world of pickling using our very own recipe and their very own dumb-fuck logic –the results of which shall be judged in The Great Pickle Showdown in a secret location sometime around Christmas. HOWEVER…. if you think you have what it takes to create the best-est pickles in the whole wide world then we wanna know about it. Obviously we won’t be able to taste them over the net, so what we require are pictures of yourself eating pickles (any varieties, could be onion, could be egg)either in a Rock N’ Roll location or in an extremely Rock N’ Roll way. The winner will receive a fresh pint of beer at the very next BC gig and the general respect of everyone who they have ever met.
Send your entries by clicking the EMAIL US!! Logo at the top of the page. Good luck you fucking picklin’ bitches.
Bomb Culture –Doing it with Style(s)

Not shalot of people know this...

2007-10-09T11:27:00.000+01:00

As BC are still hammering away at nu toons/ nu line up stuff and we are once again coming up short on anything new to tell you, it has been decided that today we shall break from the tradition of giving you ‘FACTS!’ and move along the route of something a little more useful…. So, as the leaves are chucking themselves off the branches and the ground is becoming a mushy mess of autumnal mud, a chaps mind turns to the finer things in life – in short I speak of the noble art of the pickle. Oh yes, to get BC through their marathon musical writing sessions there is only sweet preserve, pickle or condiment that will do, Labias and Gentle Scum I give you…..
Mama Bomb Culture’s El-Diablo Pickled Onion of Destiny and Love.
If you are at this very moment salivating at the thought of such a distinguished Rock n’ Roll based party snack then drool no more as for the first (and hopefully last) time we open the doors to the BC Pantry and tell you how to make your very own!
You will need:
About a pound or two of onions (not pickled)
Some Salt (for making your water salty)
Some Water (to put your salt/onions in)
About a litre or two of vinegar (for the use of pickling)
Peppercorns
Dried Chillies
Honey
Whisky (A good Single Malt none of that Jack Daniels bollocks)
A computer with speakers
Arms/hands/general body parts (for use when pickling – also handy for other tasks)
A gun
As every good pickler knows to pickle properly you’ll need quality sounds and there’s no better place than right here where you can pick up a few of Bomb Culture’s finest pulse-pounding toons….So you have your toons and your ready to pickle right? Wrong! You’ve forgotten to remove your Bomb Culture T-shirt, never fear you can pick up another one right here….Right then-music loud , T-Shirt off lets get to pickling, biatch!
Skin your onions (snigger, chortle, etc, etc….) then put them in a big bowl of salty water. As Paul Mccartney would have said if he was talking about pickled onions ‘Let them Be’ for 24 hours. Now boil up your vinegar and chuck in your peppercorns (snigger, etc etc), a great big blob of honey and a massive handful of dried chillies. Finally pour out two large glasses of Whisky (about 6 shots in each). Pour the first glass into the vinegar - remembering to pour a little on the ‘sidewalk’ in remembrance of your ‘homies’. As soon as the vinegar boils, take it from the heat and leave it to cool, also for 24 hours.
Now take the other glass and neck the lot. Next take the gun, strip naked and run down the street shooting wildly into the air and screaming’ I’m as mad as hell and I just won’t take it anymore’. By the time you wake up in the gutter/cell your onions will be ready to pickle.
Pack them tightly into jars and pour over the vinegary soup. If you feel the need to vomit from last nights excess then remember to take a large hearty gulp of the acidic broth as you go. Leave for at least 2 weeks, so by the time your case comes to court you’ll be just about ready to tuck into some delicious and wholesome onions.
Happy pickling, chums!
Bomb Culture – Kings of the condiment, Princes of the Pickles.

See ya, Mam.

2007-10-03T14:47:00.000+01:00

No band news today as we say adieu to Bomb Culture’s greatest quadruped chum, the one and only ‘Mam Dog’.
For nigh on 15 years Mam was the faithful four-legged pal of our resident VJ, Mr Sul from ‘The Darkside Gallery’.
Through their many adventures together, Mam has chased countless sticks, ignored hundreds of pleas to ‘bring the ball back’ and on one occasion almost swam to Western Super Mare in the hunt for a skimmed stone.
Known over the years by many guises, most notably ‘Fuck Splat’, ‘Dirk Dogart the Doggie Detective’ and then the more civilised ‘Fox Splat’, Mam finally gained her moniker when it became apparent that she was the only one in the house who did the washing up.
When Mam passed she was roughly around 20 years old, so a damn good innings by anyone’s stretch. The fact that she reached this grand old age was due to the great love and care bestowed upon her by both Mr Sul and Ms. Rachel Wyatt.
She leaves a daughter, Amber ‘The Amboz’ and small dog shaped space in all of our hearts.
So, for you dear Mam Dog……Bomb Culture Salutes You!!

Bomb Culture – God Bless the Mam.

So long and thanks for all the riffs…

2007-10-02T10:04:00.000+01:00

After a recuperating sojourn to Espana, BC are refreshed and ready to dive headlong into the long cold winter months ahead. For those gagging for a bit of the old hot live musical action, the next few months will seem a wee bit silent on the Bomb Culture front, but fear not dear hearts, we shall return with a brand new line-up, a spanking new sound and visuals that will not only pop out your eyeballs but give them a good polish and then pop them back in again.
So we’d like to take this opportunity to give a great big ‘Cheers Matey and Good Luck with the up-coming family’ to our erstwhile Geetar Slut, Mr. Johnny Hill.
Mr Hill has been behind some of our most muscle-throbbing riffs and although we shall miss his unique geetar string pounding ways we’d like to give to give him a great big wet smack-eroo on the chops for his future plans and wish him and his uber-babe Kate all the very most best-est in the world.
Sooooooo where now then eh?eh?eh?... Well, good ship Bomb Culture is now headed along a brand new course with a new geetar fella hovering in the wings and a brand new 2nd vocalist staggering our way with ever-increasing speed. With all of this activity and shenanigans, BC have decided to take a little time off to re-group,with an ETA for re-appearing on the gig scene sometime around Christmas(ish). In the meantime however….Keep your peepers peeled for BRAND NEW tracks appearing over on our Myspace Page and spanking new versions/ mixes of some of the older toons.
Also we’ll keep on updating this here blog, so don’t go looking elsewhere for your hot fat toons of distinction people, the Culture that is Bomb will return you to the embrace of their ample bosom, real soon.

Bomb Culture – We only want to see you laughing in the Purple Rain.

Has it come to this....

2007-09-11T15:27:00.000+01:00

Fiddlin’ and a fussin’ is the best way to describe the fidgety actions at BC Towers in these long summer days. Since the big old BC stripped itself to the bone by turning into a twosome (By this I mean musically – we still, of course have the silver haired VJ stylings of The Darkside Gallery to keep your eyeballs trimmed), your favourite beat monkeys are feverishly working away at nu toons for your delight and delectation. How far we will go without strapping another geetar baboon to our collective rhythm making bosoms is still under discussion, but suffice to say if we do or if we don’t the BC will continue on it’s path for musical glory.
So with no band news to spurt over your wide open eyes, it is time once again to journey along the path where ‘things you may not have known but probably did’ meet ‘the army of truth’ in an orgasmic explosion of FACT!! So here we go with another massively unpopular occasional and random list of FACTS….

93% of all greeting cards are purchased by women.

The plastic things on the end of shoelaces are called aglets

98% of houses in the United States have at least one television set, whereas in China, despite a population of well over one billion people, there are only an estimated 250 million televisions in use.

A person uses approximately fifty-seven sheets of toilet paper each day. (This one came from an American site and frankly if I was using 57 sheets of bog roll a day, I’d be pretty worried.)

Adolf Hitler invented the concept of the blow-up doll to keep his troops happy whilst away from their freuleins and to keep them fraternizing with foreign fillies.

In New Mexico, over eleven thousand people have visited a tortilla chip that appeared to have the face of Jesus Christ.

Cows sweat through their noses

When a person pees, a small deposit of urine enters the mouth via the saliva glands.

So there you go, another fascinating insight into the world of FACT! And just a quick word before we go – Whoever left the answer to last posts question – ‘Vestibules – Are they Corridors or porches?’ Your answer of ‘vestibules’ was correct and wins you an 100% authentic ‘Get out of Jail Free’ card! Yes in celebration of Monopoly being a board game you can commit whatever crime you deem fit and get out of jail free! If only you hadn’t left the comment anonymously then you could be raping and pillaging your way to fame and fortune right now. Oh well, maybe you’ll have better luck with this weeks poser…
“What is Jim Davidson?" Answers posted below please - the one who manages to answer without using any words begining with 'C' or 'T' wins a dictionary and a picture of Jim Davidson.

Bomb Culture - Soft, Strong and very, very long

Let's resort to Plan B...

2007-09-06T10:53:00.000+01:00

So what happened I hear you squall? Well apart from the miniscule crowd at the Gwyl Macs Festy (it looked like about 2,000 people for a 10,000 capacity – although that may be way out) The big Old BC had a rare old time and thundered through a set which included two brand spanking nu toons. Trimmed to a lean 2 piece your favourite pair of clankers, boomed and bounced their beats to a small but dancey crowd. With the addition of our visual maestro’s at The Dark Side Gallery, Bomb Culture thundered along the road of new direction’s with aplomb.
With the lack of peeps we did however find ourselves in the honoured position of watching a full live set from Plan B with a tiny crowd. Probably wasn’t that great for Plan B, but for us it was awesome! The man is a legend. Special mention must also go to the incredible Beatbox Fozzy and Ruffstylz who once again blew our little socks off and also to The Magic Numbers, who I was never much of a fan of, until I saw their live set. Geez that lady can play bass geeetar….
So what does the future hold for the scamps at the big old BC? Well, whilst the visual additions of the aforementioned Darkside Gallery are pushing us further ahead in the eyeball department, the loss of Geetar has seen the BC swing towards a much more upbeat dance filled set….But where to from here? Well plans are in hand and afoot for more extra musical surprises and a few guest artist’s to drop on by, but for now, count your lucky chickens that the BC are here to stay and ain’t goin’ nowhere. So as we enter a new dawn, a new lineup and a brand new way of making sandwhiches, hold on to your hats and all other various articles of clothing, for Bomb Culture will be back rrrrrreal soon….
Toon in next time when we’ll be asking ‘Vestibules? Corridors or porches? You decide.’

Bomb Culture – We don’t need no teacher, preacher

2 men went to moooooooo

2007-08-31T09:58:00.000+01:00

And so with one day left until Bomb Culture’s final Festival appearance of 2007, the big old BC are warming up their love muscles and preparing for an aural/visual onslaught to knock the socks off the varied masses.
Stripped down to the bare essentials of Bertie and Stevie J (With the visual wonder of Mr Sul projected behind us) Bomb Culture will journey valiantly into a new era of beats and bleeps. As we head towards this brave new, more dancified world of geetar-less toons we call upon, you, our dear old plebeian hordes to get yer arses down to the Chill Out Village at the Gwyl Macs Festival for 10.30pm this Saturday night, where for your efforts you will be introduced to 2 new tracks!!! As well as premiering our nu toon, we will also be breaking with BC tradition and introducing a cover version of….well, come along and find out…
A great big report of this and all the year’s shenanigans so far will appear right here next week….Stay toned, we’ll be right back after this short festival….
Bomb Culture - Oh yes, we're the great pretenders

Word up G...

2007-08-22T16:26:00.000+01:00

Y’know folks with all this talk of the anniversary of Elvis choking on the toilet, another equally important ‘Death’ anniversary has come and gone with nary a mention, that of the originator of amillion comedy disguises, Groucho Marx.
Sooooooo, in the interests of never letting it be said that Bomb Culture does not strive to bring you things you need to know….(Was that really a sentence?)..Here are a handful of quotations from that other King (of comedy), the awesoeme Groucho Marx…

Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.

Getting older is no problem. You just have to live long enough.

Humor is reason gone mad.

I don't care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members.

I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.

I have a mind to join a club and beat you over the head with it.

I intend to live forever, or die trying.

I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.

I read in the newspapers they are going to have 30 minutes of intellectual stuff on television every Monday from 7:30 to 8. to educate America. They couldn't educate America if they started at 6:30.

I remember the first time I had sex - I kept the receipt.

I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn't arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I'm going to be happy in it.

Quote me as saying I was mis-quoted.

Groucho Marx Bomb Culture Salutes you! Oh, and as we is still jammin’ the big old band news is just a reminder….Gwyl Macs Festival , Saturday night, Chill out village 10pm….

Bomb Culture - Go, and never darken my towels again.

Coming soon...

2007-08-20T11:03:00.000+01:00

How y’all doin’ out there in ‘reading these words land’? I am now struggling into the 4th week of non-smoking and I gotta say that apart from a few small diversions on the road of the straight and narrow, it hasn’t been as bad as I was expecting. The first couple of days were okay and then the next couple were miserable and foul but as I slowly trudge towards the milestone of a month without smoke I do kinda feel a lot better for it. So if you’re wondering wether to do it, go ahead, it’s not anywhere near as bad as you would imagine, and remember –it’s the only drugs that does nothing except slowly kill you.
Speaking of all things smoky, BC are currently immersed in a large cloud of inspiration as they beat and batter out a brand spanking new cover version of….Well to find out what you’d better hot foot it down to the Gwyl Macs Festival where the loveable old BC will be taking to the Chill Out Village Stage at 10pm on the Saturday night (1st September). It’s the last festy of the season for BC so make sure you’re there as we’re gonna try and finish this miserable fucking summer with a big hearty bang. The Gwyl Macs may also be a bit of a watershed moment for BC to find out why you’d better grab yer coat, grab yer hat and leave yer worries on the doorstep – just direct your feet to the Carmarthen Gwyl Macs Festival side of the street…
Bomb Culture – Err, John where the fuck are you?

Cliff Hanger and his chum Toby Continued....

2007-08-09T09:59:00.000+01:00

Once again nothing much to report on the movements and activities of everybody’s favourite bunch of beat monkeys, except to say that as we speak BC’s first cover version is preparing to launch itself at the Gwyl Macs Festival. Oh yeah BC will be wandering around on the Chill Out Village Stage and turning the words Chill Out into something slightly more ironic. The Gwyl Macs festy is in Carmarthen on September 1st & 2nd – Just in time for shaved ape Berty’s B-day. Huzzah!

Apart from that however nothing much else to report so I thought I’d do something a wee bit different today and leave you on a cliffhanger… In exactly(ish) 3 hours (I’m writing this at 10am) I will be going off to take my driving test. YIKES!

Will I pass? Will I fail? Will I cause a major pile up but emerge triumphant yet unscathed? Tune in to this very blog entry later on to see what occurs………

AND THE RESULT WAS.........

I PASSED!!! Yep, that's mother fucking right, I only went and arseshitting passed. OH YEAH! Spread the news and spread yer legs.

Obviously this is nothing to do with band news, but stay tooned we'll be right back with some hot and sticky news about BC real soon...

Bomb Culture –Taking you to the very edge and then running away giggling

Fact you Motherfacter

2007-08-03T10:49:00.000+01:00

Day four of the whole giving up smoking thing and I got's to tell's ya, I'm ready to beat the shit out of anyone that even blinks at me funny. What pisses me off the most though, is the fact that I am a (moderatley) intelligent human being who realises that smoking does nothing but give you cancer, make you stink and turn your sperm into tail-less freaks, and yet...I would still rip off my nads for just a puff of that sweet smokey pleasure. So remember kids, 'Fags are for Fools-Don't start' - unless of course your reading this in America then it's 'Cigarettes are for Fools - etc' (Don't want to seem homophobic, to those who have a limited grasp of the Mother Tongue).

Blah,blah,blah, Bomb Culture still working in studio, yadda yadda yadda, no band news to report, sooooooooooooooooo, onwards with some random and meaningless FACTS.
Oh yes, with nothing much to report today I thought I would once again bombard you with a serious of ever more tedious facts that you probably knew anyway, so here we go:

The Queen Mary Cruise Ship takes a gallon of diesel fuel to move an inch.

The 1836 presidential candidate Martin Van Buren was born in Kinderhook, NY. His nickname was " Old Kinderhook" During his campaign the slogan read " Vote for Martin Van Buren he's O.K." and thus the phrase okay was born.

Augie the dog from Texas, holds the World Record for holding the most tennis balls in his mouth…The amount? Five. Yeah, I thought It would be higher than that as well..

Meanwhile, in Florida, Jack Bibby (odd looking man with a penchant for moustaches and bowler hats) has the record for holding the most amount of live rattle snakes in his mouth with an impressive… eight! (Of course that all depends on whether your impressed by attention seeking twats who like to stuff venomous reptiles into their cakeholes).

11 of the 12 people who walked on the moon were scouts.

Tim Stinton of Victoria, South Australia, is the proud owner of the worlds longest leg hair. Weighing in at a 12.4cm, this antipodean ape-person really knows how to turn stomachs and repel woman. Good on ya cobber!

So, there you go, a few things you probably didn’t know and a few things you really didn’t give a shit about. Tune in next time when we’ll be asking why, what who where and when.
Oh and I’m sure there will be some kind of band news as well...Probably.

Bomb Culture – We are Derricks, and derricks don’t run.

It be Soggy out there..

2007-07-25T15:33:00.000+01:00

Not much to report on the old BC front as we once again hunker in BC Towers writing new beats for ya’ll so lets get into a nice fat pointless rant….

As the man said ‘It is easier for a camel to lie about being gay than a needle to pass through the eye of a potato’ and this is more true today than it has ever been… Which leads me very neatly on to the hilarious sight of David Cameron valiantly trying to whip up some publicity by going to Africa whilst his constituency is doing a passable impression of Atlantis.
Now, obviously the concerns of Africa are of global importance and considering our dominance over the ‘dark continent’ in the past, Britain does owe them big…BUT, if you’re huddled with your entire family in a leisure centre watching your entire life’s possessions drift away down the high street, then you would hope that your local MP would at least have the decency to stay in the country and not try and draw focus away from your plight to try and improve his party’s image.

If the insane amount of flood damage across the country has proved one thing, it is the unique peculiarities of the British character. Ever since the first British newspaper came screaming out of it’s medieval printing press, every adversity Britain has had to face has been overcome by the ‘plucky’ attitude of us Brits…The problem is that it’s not really so much a brave attitude of ‘we can face it come what may’, but more a level-headed assertion of ‘There’s fuck all we can do about it, so we might as well just get on with it.’
During the various terrorist attacks on London, the news would always play up us ‘Plucky Brits’ defying the terrorists by carrying on as normal. Personally, my defying the terrorists by going to work was mostly due to the fact that if I didn’t I would have lost my job. Now, this may sound highly cynical, especially as I sit in my warm and dry environment, without fish waving to me through my blinds, but it’s actually meant as a compliment to the British spirit that when the shit (or massive deluge of water) hits the fan, people just get on with it….Apart of course from the basatrds selling drinkingwater for a tenner a thimbleful...
Maybe someone should follow Spike Lee’s incredible 4 hour opus about the aftermath of Hurricane Katrina (If you ain’t see it, then do) with a very British movie about the floods. Alan Bennett could write it, something along the lines of ‘My oh my, my Macaroon is moist’ or maybe an opera from Paul McCartney, ‘Requiem for a Soggy Sofa’. Plucky Brits could stand arm in arm defiant against the onslaught of the Thames drinking tea and whistling about Hitler’s missing testicle… Or maybe it would be easier just to jump on a plane and fuck off to Africa for a couple of days.

In other news….BC’s old bass player the fabulously bearded Jethro is getting hitched this very weekend to the ‘far too good for the likes of him’ Jen.
To the soon to be happy couple, Bomb Culture sends their enormous love and a massive salute to their happiness. J & J BC Salutes you!

Tune in next time when I’m sure we’ll be putting up some actual band news instead of a pointless rant about nothing…then again….

Bomb Culture – Like a giant umbrella of love in a deluge of hate.

Chainsaw Elephant

2007-07-20T11:15:00.000+01:00

Massive snogs to those who braved the tsunami on Tuesday to come and give their most love to the Big ‘Ol BC as they bounced their toons around the innards of the Barfly –Much appreciated y’all.
BC will be taking a wee break until September’s Gwyl Macs Festival, where we will be back, harder, faster and better. Gird your loins people the break will be over soon….And now a long overdue rant….
A couple of things have grasped my goat this week, first off there is the hilarious revelation that most of the Cabinet and indeed, the Shadow Cabinet (Isn’t that an apt phrase when talking about tories) have apparently smoked hash. I say, hilarious but obviously this is meant in the most ironic of terms as the reason we know this is because they are about to once again push it back to Class B and criminalize half the country.. .Two things strike me about this, 1.If any of those ministers had been arrested for smoking hash when it was Class B, they would never have had a political career in the first place, and 2.If, because of the 3,000 laws brought in by Labour in the past ten years, we are releasing ‘real’ criminals from overcrowded jails, what sense does it make to re-criminalise a third of the country?
Of course, a third of the country smoking hash is just my estimate, but consider how many people you know who do or have, I bet it’s more than a third of your friends…If not, what the fuck are you doing reading this blog?
The other Goat Grasping story that caught my peepers was all about Asda and their pissy fit over selling the new Harry Potter and the Hideous Franchise Machine. Why would this annoy? Well, Bloomsbury are selling the book to all retailers for the same price – so, if you’re Mr Small Bookshop buys one copy, he will pay exactly the same as an enormous conglomerate (such as Asda). This basically means that Mr. Small Bookshop has to sell at the cover price or make no profit…However, with ADSA’s enormous profit base they can undercut the cover price of £17.99 and sell the book at a fiver. Oh, Goodie you may be thinking, ‘What a bargain!’, but consider this, if ASDA can do this and whether a loss of at least £10 on every single book they sell, just imagine how this affects the local bookshop. Basically it’s fucked. There is no way it can fight this and inevitably it will close. All very well and fine if you don’t mind your local shops disappearing into a Super-Giant-Hyper-Out of Town Warehouse, but kind of shit if you care about the character, style and general well-being of your local high street.
So, we may live in a country ruled by stoned, hypocritical war-mongering megalomaniacs but you can always console yourself by kicking off your booties, picking up your 3 pence copy of Harry Potter and the Crack-lovin' Whore Bitch while smoking a Fat one and watching your local community disappear into a Multinational Black hole…Now that’s magic.
Bomb Culture –We may be hapless, but at least we’re honest

Small Nations..Big Gig

2007-07-17T10:36:00.000+01:00

Oooooh the Small Nations Festival…Well we started with a missing guitarist then moved quickly on to realising that the VJ equipment wouldn’t work in the bright sunlight. A quick ‘What the fuck are we gonna do?’ later ands Bert and Mooseglove decided that as the dance tent was empty we’d carry on regardless Little did we know that our buddies had been out and about giving away the good-old free BC Lighters…Mid way through the first toon, the tent was suddenly packed with hedonistic bouncing dancers, who not only gave us great support but bought a shit load of CD’s… So from the jaws of disaster a major triumph reared its rather attractive head.
We’d like to give a huge shout to Subsource (Best.Festy.Band.Ever) who came and gave us some much needed support by grooving away with the rest of the crowd.
When we got to catch their set later, it was a lesson in how to perform. Seriously, if you ever see their names on a poster anywhere, give yourself an enormous treat and go catch ‘em. You WILL dance.
Onwards, ever onwards dear People, and tonight BC fly on down to the Barfly for their last show until September, so if you wanna fill up on your BC lovin’ before the rest of the amusing titled ‘summer’ is over then come on down! Theres a flyer on the posting below which if you print out will give you a whole five pounds off the door price..You lucky people!
Bomb Culture – We’ll beat you senseless, if your pleasure is pain.

2007-07-10T11:44:00.000+01:00

Why not fly by the Barfly...

Well me little chickadees, Mr Grooveslave’s 50th B-day bash went off with a throbbing thud of Dub Pistols joy last weekend with your favourite Electro Mousketeers there to follow up with a thunderous setoff dance-filled abandon. One small hitch came when Mr Sul’s PC refused to fit into the clubs projector leaving BC visual-less and Mr Sul slightly grumpy. No doubt normal service will be resumed at BC’s appearance at this weekends Small Nations Festival, in Llandovery…If your going we is on at 7pm, sharp-ish and stick aound for the awesome Omega 66 who will be up later for some more bouncy, flouncy tune-smithery.
Following the Small Nations, BC will finish off this part of the year with their first appearance at the legendary hole in the ground known as Barfly, Cardiff. Putting the ‘dank’ into ‘really dank’, the venue opens at 8pm with Alison’s Op, then your beloved BC and all topped off with the Swing/punk stylings of Smokehand…So if your over 14 and like to wear your hair across one eye whilst pretending to cut yourself, Barfly is the place for you! Click on the above flyer for some ‘cut out n’ keep n’ get in for £4’ action. Yowza!
Bomb Culture – Grappling with the bear of disdain whilst tickling the trout of joy.

2007-07-05T11:58:00.000+01:00

An animated hippo once sang ‘Mud, glorious mud, nothing quite like it for cooling the blood’, but it is also true to say that it’s also very useful for truly fucking up a rather lovely festival. Oh yes indeed BC’s triumphant return to The Workhouse Festy was greeted with a down pouring of the wet stuff not seen since Noah stuck his head out of the window and said ‘I think I’d better get the washing in’. Suffice to say a ridiculously moist time was had by all. It’s also fair to say that things could have gone a wee bit better for your electro troubadours as the lack of lighting, music between bands and generally very high organisers proved to be somewhat of a poor mix when it came to putting on a show, but musn’t grumble….
Onwards, ever onwards dear eyeball using person of culture as BC rev up for tomorrow nights massive gig with the Dub Pistols. A whole wealth of Cardiff bands fill up the support slots (just have a look at that flyer!) and with all night toons supplied by Mutty Wango I reckon we’re looking at a kick-arse piece of gig-erey.
In other news….

Two Salutes today!! The first goes to...a true genius of the music world, Mr George Melly who has died at the age of 80. I can’t say I was ever a great fan of his music, more of an admirer of a great talent, but his truly witty, intelligent and subversive mind, will be greatly missed. George Melly, Bomb Culture Salutes you!

And the second....

A big salute to Alan Johnston, freed after 4 months of captivity. Normally I wouldn’t give 2 shits about the fate of a journalist but Alan Johnston’s reports always came with a big ‘ol sheen of integrity. It’s also good to hear a horrific story like this ending in a smile and not an ‘oh shit not again’…So Mr Alan ‘About to become a millionaire off the back of my memoirs’ Johnston, Bomb Culture Salutes You!
And finally… Pete Doherty has escaped prison AGAIN! Seriously what does this guy have to do to be sent to jail? Maybe he should take up Monopoly…Leave him Kate there’s a far more attractive band just waiting for your call..
Bomb Culture - Brazenly laughing in face of medocrity

Moisture is our friend

2007-06-26T11:28:00.000+01:00

Rain, Rain, Rain, Rain....etc...Well, BC's festy season will kick off in truly moist style this Friday when the Big 'Ol BC takes to the sodden Courtyard Stage for their headlining first night at Llanfyllin's Workhouse Festival. If anyone knows of an enchanted backward rain dance that we could possibly perform, please do get in touch...If your heading up to the Workhouse come and say Howdy, we'll be pleased to meet ya!

Hot on the heels of the annuncement of BC joining Sicknote for a support slot at Grooveslaves 50th B-Day bash, with the 'Special(s)' (see what I did there?) Dub Pistols featuring Lord Terry Hall (Not the guy with Lenny the Lion) comes news of a nice little supporting gig with Belisha on July 17th at Cardiff's very own Barfly. Belisha come with a reputation for using on-stage flamethrowers and custard pie fights - Here's hoping they have seen the size and cavernous nature of the Barfly as lighting so much as a match in there could snd the whole place up...YIKES!

So, nothing to rant about today just a call across this green and pleasant land of ours to cross your fingers for a spot of dry weather for this weekend - Either that or a giant umberella to be constructed across North Powys, we'll take either, we're not fussy.

Full Festy report as soon as we're back...

Bomb Culture - Apologising for angry skies with rainbows.

Dub-ing Down

2007-06-22T11:54:00.000+01:00

Well ‘Do’ did exactly what it said on the tin and did Do all it was supposed to i.e. gave all you young dancing fools a chance to throw yourselves around to the cream of Electronica. We’d like to give a wet smackeroo to our Headliners, Steadler & Waldorf
And the awesome support given by Cryptic & Bubbles and the incredible Beatbox Fozzy. Nice one chaps!

Sooooooooo…only a week (and a bit ) left before BC kick off their own Festy season with a headlining set on the Courtyard Stage at Llanfyllins Workhouse Festival. If you haven’t got a ticket, bad luck peeps as they’re all sold out, but we’ll give you a full report as soon as we get our sweet little asses back home.

In other news…BC have just confirmed their appearance at Dave ‘Grooveslave’s’ 50th Birthday Bash (yep, he’s 50!!!) – along with ranting dance bitches Sicknote , the big old BC will not only be paying tribute to the big man himself but also doffing their caps to headliners….the DUB PISTOLS! Featuring the very special and certainly moist Mr Terry Hall. Just poke your peepers over to the flyer up there...no not there...up a bit...ohhhh I like it like that...yes, thats it, that one.

In cheap gag news…..Micheal Barrymore is apparently not going to do Panto this year, he was quoted as saying ‘I did Alladin five years ago and I haven’t heard the last of it’….Sorry about that, I did have a rant all ready about the young misguided girl whose taking her school to court as she can’t wear her ‘I’m a virgin, don’t touch my bits’ ring, but once again I was foiled by Blogger crashing…so I’ll just say this, I’m perfectly fine with fundamentalists wearing whatever they like to denote their little superstitions as it makes them so much easier to aim at.

And finally… For all those going to Glastonbury this weekend , good luck with the weather…although as I’m not going, (and thereby by missing the wonderful Bjork), I hope there is a storm of biblical proportions and you all get some horrific mud/cow-pat related disease you bunch of hippy bastards.

Bomb Culture – Titillating ocelots by oscillating their tits a lot

Evolution baby, YEAH!

2007-06-11T15:57:00.000+01:00

Since the first amoeba slipped from the primordial soup , leaving his gills behind and growing a voice with which to shout ‘I AM MAN!’ evolution has proceeded at some pace (sorry about that Fundamentalist Christians - but hey – you can’t have ‘fundamentalist’ without having ‘mentalist’ now can ya?) . Just as the human race has evolved Bomb Culture itself has decided that it needs to join the evolutionary race….How have you done this? I hear you ask, well by the simple gift of the Visual Jockey! (Not a real jockey, of course, although he is about the right size) Yes your favourite-est bunch of scamps are proud, nay moist to introduce to the world the newest member of the BC Brood…..Our brand new VJ stylist Mr. Sul!!
Mr Sul’s fine works in the medium of paint and canvas have been adorning the walls of many a funky gallery / studio under the guise of The Darkside Gallery for a number of moons now, but for such an all-round artiste it could never be enough. So in a delicious collision of beats and eyeball usage, the erstwhile Mr Sul has decided to join forces with BC to create an audio/visual explosion that will kick hairy arse from here all the way to Timbuktu. For a look inside the Darkside Manor have a little click here.
The preparations for Mr Sul’s entrance have begun in earnest (insert obvious double entendre here) and should be spurt all over the walls at ‘DO’, in Clwb Tafod, Riverside Hotel, this very Friday!! But that’s not all, oh no sireeeee!! Our good friends over at Visuteq, will be taking care of the rest of the evenings visuals for the line up which includes Staedler and Waldorf, Cryptic & Bubbles, a special guest appearance from Beatbox Fozzy and an extra special DJ set from the SICKNOTE DJ’s. SO….Uk Hip Hop, Live Electronica, dancefloor beats and visuals to make your eyes bleed….What more could you possibly want?
Evolution eh? What a laugh! Y’know I used to be a monkey but I’m alright now ooo oo oo…..(That gag really doesn’t work……I’m so sorry)
Bomb Culture – Proving Darwinian theories with every beat they take.

Suffer, little bastards

2007-06-07T09:33:00.000+01:00

So Russia is pointing their missiles at us again, police will be able to detain suspects for 90 days with no trial /little evidence, and Big Brother has started again…So to celebrate what is clearly the end of the world, lets all pop down to ‘DO’ at TAFOD, (Riverside Hotel, Cardiff) and dance away the last remaining moments of our wasted little lives.
Of course, the expected holocaust may be nothing more than sheer panic inducing paranoia from the popular press, but who would ever dream of such a thing? No. I think it’s obviously far safer to go to TAFOD, and enjoy an incredible evening of musical excitement the likes of which only the ancient Gods could have witnessed!!
In other BC related news…. your most loveable bunch of scrouts have landed themselves a slot at the Gawr Macs Festival up in Carmarthen on September 2nd. With the awesome Plan B headlining the Saturday main stage and The Magic Numbers on the Sunday, it should be pant wettingly moist shindig. SO again, HUZZAH for us!

And finally…Just a thought and I know I do tend to harp on about the weird and pervasive culture of paranoia that has been gripping the country ever since the government decided that they could get away with it, but today I heard that horrible report about parents being too scared to let their children play outside, until (in some cases) they’re at least 14 years old. Yep, FOURTEEN! It brings to mind a bit from Steptoe and Son, where they’re discussing an old pet of Albert’s (excuse any inaccuracies in the text, this is from memory)….

Albert: Loved that dog I did, Looked after him well n’all.
Harold: Looked after him? You were cruel to that dog. Years you kept him changed up in that yard.
Albert: And look what ‘appened when I did let him out, he got run over.
Harold: Of course ‘e did, he’d never seen a car before.

Now, obviously, I’m not suggesting people are chaining up their children (although this may not so bad with some of the little bastards), but by not letting children / interact / hurt themselves / get into some kind of bother they are breeding two types of people – Either extremely naive or extremely paranoid. Not healthy for a country that is fast marching towards inward segregation and paranoia as it is.
So as I alluded to, to begin with, the world is going to hell in a delightful wicker picnic basket and we’re all going with it…So why not cheer yourselves up with a night out at DO? You knew I’d get back to that at some point didn’t ya?
Bomb Culture - Making the world a better place by just being nice

Do what your told....

2007-05-23T12:43:00.000+01:00

Today is a day for shameless self promotion with the luxurious poster above. Yes, in just a mere 3 weeks the inaugural night of ‘do’ will commence with a post festival bash from dance bitches, STEADLER & WALDORF, the obviously sexual BOMB CULTURE and the saviours of UK Hip Hop, Cryptic and Bubbles (with their very special guest the jaw-dropping BEATBOX FOZZY). On the decks we see the fur-lined return of FOXY and an exclusive DJ set from the rising dance phenomenon that is SICKNOTE.
The night is the official warm-up not only for Bomb Culture double-festy- header of the Workhouse Festival and the Small Nations but also STEADLER & WALDORF’s last appearance before they open the Glastonbury festival for Annie Mac’s Radio 1 Live Lounge!!! A great big fat bloater of a treat, I’m sure you’ll agree.
So don’t just make a note in your diary, stencil it across your heart, tattoo it upon your nether regions and staple it to the inners of your eyelids….JUNE 15TH, TAFOD (Riverside, Cardiff) 10pm -3am £5…..DO!
Bomb Culture - Will YOU do the do?

BC gets dedicated on yo asssss

2007-05-14T13:02:00.000+01:00

Last Saturday night a rather cool thang happened across the airwaves of Wales (no, not Eurovision, more will be made of that in a moment)…BC were requested and played on BBC Radio Wales!!! OH YEAH! On Saturday night’s edition of ‘Mixing it’, one of the guests had brought in their very own copy of BC’s demo ‘Pushing all the wrong buttons’ and asked for the track Between Dreams to be played. And lo, did the good people of Wales rejoice as the thumping beats of the BC did enliven a dark wet night and gave hope to an empire that had to suffer the indignity of Scooch representing them at Eurovision…..Speaking of which, how can anyone carp on about the show being rigged or bloc voting when our entry was so enormously bollocks? The only competition it had a chance of winning was a ‘Shittest pile of embarrassing wank by far too old skanky cockbags’ competition.. The problem is that as a country, we see Eurovision as the toe-curling heap of flatulent campness, a kind of throwback to the naïve bad taste joviality of the seventies. Because of this we treat it with the full derision it truly deserves and send overgrown cartoon characters using 70’s style double entendres, just to show how far above the rest of the euro-scum we cultured Brits really are. All fine and dandy (if a little narrow-minded and xenophobic), but why do the media cry fowl when the rest of Europe decides to shit on us from a great height? It’s like turning up to a party, insulting everyone, defecating on the record player and then blaming everyone else because their ‘ruining your buzz’.
Now, I too find Eurovision just as hilarious as most sane minded people would (and you have to admit it is the one time of the year that everyone actually finds Terry Wogan funny) , so if we are gonna treat the competition with such an unholy degree of disrespect why not go the whole hog? Lets have next years entrants really going all out to offend our euro neighbours - Lets give them a man in a bowler hat and a pinstripe suit, carrying an umberella and drinking tea whilst simultaneously shooting his great British load all over the EU flag. Large comedy-breasted women could cavort in union flags whilst Jim Davidson and Bernard Manning spit putrid bile all over the first three rows…The song could be a finely tuned version of the theme tune to Dad’s Army and a chorus based on ‘Hitlers only got one Ball’.
Hmmmmm, a new Bomb Culture project perhaps?
In other news, BC toooooons are now available to buy!! Oh yes indeedy, if ya fancy grabbing yourself a slice of BC heaven for the paltry sum of just 79p, then fly on over to http://www.indiestore.com/bombculture and download yerslef a toon! If we get into the charts with an ill –remembered hit then maybe we can apply for next years contest! So, If you know of any large breasted women or indeed have the numbers of Bernard Manning or Jim Davdison then please forward them to the comments box below….BC for Eurovision 08! The campaign begins here…

Bomb Culture – We’re here to believe you

Crinkle Cut

2007-05-09T14:57:00.001+01:00

Even though, the big ‘Ol BC decided against last Saturdays gig on the grounds of ‘too much damn hassle’ we’d like to give a big friendly dog-like lick to Jacuzzi Junta and their lovely weird Art night up at Tactile Bosch studios. Although the DJ’s choice of Madonna and Justin Timberlake went past the point of irony and fell headlong into the pit of ‘What the fuck is that shit’, a lovely time was had by all…
And now, a rant….
With so much skulduggery, rapscallion behaviour and downright two-faced double dealing going on in this big ‘ol world of ours, I thought that today I would, like an angelic waiter, bring you a great big bowl of steaming love….Well that’s what I was gonna do until my great big brown peeper fell upon the hilarious story of the boss of Def Jam records and the family of James Brown joining forces to stop the use of’ foul language’ and misogyny in the lyrics of today’s youthful Hippity-Hop rappers.
A very admirable thought, after all as James Browns daughter said ‘How did we get from Sing It Loud I’m Black and I’m proud to here?’….. Well you could start by asking the boss of Def Jam records who has made an eye watering amount of money for at least 20 years by using the very same language in his releases that he’s now trying to censor. Or you could ask James Brown, at least he was an up-standing pillar of moral virtue, and certainly not a gun-totting, bitch-slapping , drug snuffling crazy-ass bastard?
Whilst not being a massive advocate of rap or the kind of misogynistic / racist bollox that passes for ‘art’, I find this kind of censorship as pretty fucking outrageous - if Mr Def Jam person wants to do something constructive, why not give all the cash he’s made, to the communities that he feels his music has blighted? Hip-hopcrisy anyone? (Fair enough, shit gag, but you think of a better way to round off a rant…..)
Ah fuck it, lets move on to this from the BBC new Website……
Celebrity heiress Paris Hilton is backing an online petition seeking a pardon of her 45-day prison sentence because she enlivens "mundane" lives…..
Urge to kill….rising…rising….
Bomb Culture – The World is not enough

Donkey hive

2007-05-01T10:04:00.000+01:00

Well, considering that the only publicity that seemed to be done for last Saturdays gig was a few flyers left hanging around in the actual pub itself, BC would like once again to extend a big hearty 'Cheers Muckers' to all those who turned out anyway.
It's not something I usually bitch about but seriously, if your puttting on a night then maybe, just fucking maybe, advertising it would be a good idea don't ya think? Anyhoooo onwards and upwards my dear slaves to that crazy BC rythym, as we slide into a little surprise gig at Tactile Bosch Studios in Llandaff, Cardiff this very weekend. The night is being put on by those beret wearing, goatee chinned art loving hedonists, Jacuzzi Junta. Along with the mighty BC will be a programme packed with live art, music, and poetrytype stuff. As always this can prove to be a bit of a hit and miss affair but Jaccuzi Junta do what they do and you can't argue against their artisitc freedom, so let's wind 'em up and let 'em go.
In other news, BC have just confirmed their return apperance at this years Workhouse Festival in North Powys. This year the chaps will be headlining The Courtyard Stage, with the magnificent backdrop of the old court walls behind them- prepare for a full-on aural assault of biblical proportions!
On a personal note, I saw the magnificent, nay, awesome, nay God-like, Lord Rik Mayall in The New Statesman last night , and although it was a bit like watching a political pantomime and a LOT of the cast were frankly, shite (Condolezza Rice I'm looking at you) -King Mayall was a fucking comedy God. Good to see a hero of my youth growing old so damn disgracefully...Rik Mayall - Bomb Culture Salutes You!!!!
Bomb Culture - Put it down, you don't know where it's been

Turn again Dick Whiting-BombCulture-Ton...

2007-04-24T12:34:00.000+01:00

No ranting today, just pure unadulterated promotion…except maybe to say an unexpected ‘Well Done!’ to the Pope for abolishing the idea of Limbo for unbaptised babies. I always thought that forcing toddlers to bend backwards under bamboo poles for all eternity was a touch harsh. Apparently a break-away group of pissed off unbaptised Catholic Hawaiians have already decided to storm Rome with a set of very low doorframes and a demand that grass skirts and coconut shells be declared divine…..More news on that one as it happens….

Well, the bells of Looondooon tooon did ding and indeed dong to the vibrations of Bomb Culture this very weekend and we’d like to give a great big sloppy wet one to everyone who came out for our big smoke debut. It’s kinda funny after playing big stages to (fairly big) crowds to set up on a stage the size of a pin head but the ever-fearless BC faced the tiny venue with an energy that could power a thousand generators, and blew away the happy souls that did brave the mean streets of Islington for some beat-filled vibrations. Thank you all for coming (you know who you are) and we’ll see ya real soon when BC venture once again up to the throbbing heart of the Capital.
Onwards and upwards then dear hearts, as the SUMMER ASSAULT continues this weekend at the ‘compact and bijou’ Club Love @ Howardians, Clifton Street. A few new toons and a sprinkling of the classics will get an airing as BC get up close and personal with the cream of Cardiff’s underbelly, so come on down and wobble your pleasure flaps to thumping vibrations of your favourite little scamps.
Bomb Culture – Crushing tedium with a sledgehammer of love.

Techno tramps on wirless listening box shocker!

2007-04-19T09:23:00.000+01:00

Radio interviews are peculiar things -put on the spot with the easiest of questions it's amazing just how much absolute bollocks can come out of your mouth. Yes, the Big 'Ol BC went live last night on GTFM 106.9, playing three live tracks and a bit of an interview - and what a very odd experience it was. We'd like to give the erstwhile Mr Sul a great big 'Ta fella' for emailing into the station with his views on how good we were and at the same time kick ourselves in the nads for forgetting to pretend that we didn't know him. Ahhhh Well, it was our first live interview and I suppose everyones gotta start somewhere....We would like to thank Adam and Lee for inviting us on and making the whole 'having to talk sensibly and without swearing' thing much easier to cope with. Also cheers for playing Fine Time over the past couple of weeks, it was a nice surprise to hear that we were getting airplay without even knowing it.

Not sure how we came across, although I have a feeling it was a cross between geeky maths tutors and incoherent slobs - If you heard it we'd like to know.... (unless your gonna be offensive and then we'll gently sob into our duvets, before beating you to within an inch of your life with your own dismembered member.)

Hopefully a condensed version of the whole shebang will be up on our Myspace page real soon.....

And now onto this Saturday and yet another first for the Bomb Culture....The first Loooondoooon Gig!Oh yeah If I've said it once I've said it a hundred times but heres the deal....

@ Up All Night @ The Wilmington
BOMB CULTURE
ON STAGE AT 10:40pm SHARP
Sat 21 April 2007
69 Roseberry Av. EC1R 4RL
Turn left out of Angel Tube 8 Min walk.
http://www.upallnightmusic.com
Doors: 8:00pm
£5 with Flyer/£6 without Flyer

So, no ranting today, just good old fashioned advertising, y'know like in the days when they said smoking was good for you, and opium was just great for those niggling period pains.

Bomb Culture - And now Barbara, with the weather

Stop me, if you've heard this before..

2007-04-17T11:38:00.000+01:00

As usual if you’ve come here for toons go to www.myspace.com/bombcultureuk where a whole smorgasbord of tune-smithery awaits you….
Before I start another rant I thought I’d just remind you all that Bomb Culture will be headling Up All Night @ The Wilmington, Near Angel Tube This very Saturday night!!!! WOO-HOO! Look at the last blog entry (below) to find out how to get in for a whole squid cheaper……

And now for a slightly depressing rant….

So another kid gets a gun and runs around an American University Campus executing students. There’s really not much to comment on about this. If you sell guns, people will buy them and if people are buying guns they’re gonna want to use them. Not being an expert in the subject, I’m not sure how effective a gun is at doing anything other than killing things, so why the surprise when it does the job it was intended to do? ‘Guns don’t kill people, people do’… yeah we’ll I can’t remember the last person I saw with an Uzi for a right hand.
I’m not saying anything new here, every time this kind of thing happens the same voices come out and the hilariously arrogant and simple minded will drag up the same arguments as to why it’s not the fault of the ‘right to bear arms’, but let’s face it (as one great comedian put it) with the mind set of your average gun owner wouldn’t it be safer for ‘a right to arm bears’? All they would do is shoot fish and stick up anyone with a pic-a-nic basket.
Sorry to sound offhand about what is a horrendous and sickening affair, but doesn’t seeing this kind of shit happen on such a regular basis get a wee bit tiring? The BBC reported last night that after the Amish community shootings last year Bush apparently held a meeting about School Shootings but failed to say the word ‘gun’ once. Now maybe that was because he couldn’t pronounce it, but considering his little Iraq adventures somehow the idea that he wasn’t acquainted with the word seems a tad laughable.
Ahh fuck it, you’ve heard all this before and depressingly you’ll hear it all again but for those brief few minutes when American gun culture can’t be ignored because of such a horrendous act of violence, I think it needs to be said.
Bomb Culture - Warming Charlton Heston's cold dead hands

Got no wood for Wood

2007-04-13T15:11:00.000+01:00

If you’ve arrived here for toons go The Fabulous Bomb Culture Myspace Page!! www.myspace.com/bombcultureuk
If, however, you fancy a badly written opinion about something or other….read on….

Ooooooh a rant! I haven’t had one of those for ages, but something caught my little peeper last night and I just couldn’t help but spurt it all over the page….As I was watching TV last night, the chubby cheery face of down-to-earth, woman of the people, Victoria Wood came bouncing across the screen in that slightly befuddled no-nonsense way of hers. But what was this? She was working in a bakery? Well there’s none more ‘with the common touch’ than our Ms.Wood, so why shouldn’t she muck in with all those honest-to-goodness types down at the local bread makers? Well maybe because this wasn’t the local bakers this was ASDA, a subsidiary of the global small-business-battering-bastards WAL-MART. Yep, all of that good will that the (admittedly very talented) comedienne has garnered over the years has been channelled into selling the idea of another soulless enormo-mart. So here’s a thought, considering she has made a very good living chronicling the ‘humorous’ idiosyncrasies of the working classes, doesn’t it seem a bit hypocritical to champion a company whose giant supermarkets regularly lead to the closure of many smaller businesses? Just like TESCO and their hideously patronising ‘Every Little Helps…’ motif, the supermarkets are aiming for a cosy ‘part of the community’ feel, which is what they are, but only because there is no community left, as the small towns have closed down due to the unstoppable appetite of the supermarkets shareholders.
So, at the hilariously pathetic idea that Victoria Wood would ever read, or even care about my opinions here’s my plea: Stop now before you become as trustworthy as Lloyd-Webber-Bush-loving turncoat twat, Ben Elton.
Ahhhh, that it sooooo much better…..Now on to more important things, such as Bomb Culture’s upcoming London debut at The Wilmington, (Nearest tube Angel) on April 21st. If ya planning on coming along, just copy the below onto a Word document, print it out and you'll get a whole English pound off the door price-You've never had it sooooo good!!We’ll see ya there for some super-funky-pumping-drum-n-bass-rock-n-roll. OH YEAH!

@ Up All Night @ The Wilmington
BOMB CULTURE
ON STAGE AT 10:40pm SHARP
Sat 21 April 2007
69 Roseberry Av. EC1R 4RL
Turn left out of Angel Tube 8 Min walk.
http://www.upallnightmusic.com
Doors: 8:00pm
£5 with flyer / £6 without flyer

Bomb Culture – Smacking you in the mouth with a Woman’s Weekly

Cheers Aberdare-ians

2007-04-12T13:42:00.000+01:00

If you've come here looking for Bomb Culture toons may I guide you this a way.....

http://www.myspace.com/bombcultureuk......

If you want to read some illitirate self promotion then please...come this way.....

My oh my, those Aberdare-ians sure know how to make a band feel good. The headlining slot at last Sundays Eggstatic All-dayer went down like a cool frosty beer on a hot summers day (Yes, I avoided the going down like a $5000 hooker…oh bollox no I didn’t). So a great big FANX to all who bounced the night away and especially to Eggy and his fabulosa organisational skills…..So, what’s next on the ever-trundling Summer Offensive Tour then eh?
Well, first up is BC’s exclusive live interview on internet radio-type thang GTFM( you can listen to us on Wednesday night at 8pm here), followed by BC’s first London gig on April 21st at The Willmington, London (nearest Tube Angel…turn right then it’s about 5 mins away) So if you have ears, a computer or are in London why not tune in/come along/ or buy us delicious boozes…

Just as a little coda, a great big Howdy to the frankly awesome Side Car Kisses, a band we caught last week that are more than a little fab.
Prepare yourselves Loooooondooooon the Big ‘ol BC is coming to squeeze your plums.

Bomb Culture – ‘Avin a Barclays on the Apples and Pears.

Eghad! It's Eggstatic!

2007-04-05T14:17:00.000+01:00

Just a big fat quickie for ya today to give a massive shout to our compadre's Stadler & Waldorf who have secured themselves the opening slot for the Thursday night at Annice Mac's Radio 1 Lounge at the Glastonbury Festival! Corking job lads...Now if only I could get a ticket...Anyhoooooooooo no ranting today (although those friggin' cameras with speakers on do irk somewhat) just a straight up bit of advertising for this Sundays EGGSTATIC Festival in Aberdare's Con's Club. A massive alldayer headlined by the wonderful, nay awesome, nay sexual....BOMB CULTURE!!! A huge lineup including Circle of One, Ecto-Spazz and The Stop Motion Men will give you all the throbbing music based pleasure you need on a warm Easter Sundays evening.
We shall be giving you lucky punters the first airing of brand nu toon Pleasure Hive!! SO for an evening you won't forget (or will depending on your state of mind) get thee to EGGSTATIC.
Bomb Culture - Shamelessly plugging themselves up the plughole

ranty ranty rant rant

2007-04-01T10:24:00.000+01:00

Sorry, but just gotta squeeze this spot....
‘If you haven’t done anything wrong then you have nothing to worry about’…Ahhh, the fragrant argument of the idiot. Why bring this up, well today’s little bit of shtick comes from the vitriolic bile I felt this morning when BBC News featured a story about Primary School kids who are fingerprinted to get school meals. Yep, you read that right…fingerprinted, or as the news report said in (more or less) Orwellian terms, their ‘data was bio-metrically collected’. The ‘data’ is collected and their personal record comes up telling the dinner lady exactly what dietry requirement is needed for the kid. Now you may be thinking ‘what’s the harm in that?’ Well, how can indoctrinating children into giving over ‘bio-metric’ details (be that fingerprints, retina scans, blood samples or whatever), produce anything other than a society that is ready to accept any draconian law in the name of security. The presumption of innocence is not only an overriding principle in British Law but also in the nature of humanity, if we walk happily into a society that dismisses that we lose a very important of ourselves.

Of course another great argument is that ‘Your just being paranoid…Of course I am, that’s what you wanted you fucker! That’s why we are constantly told of atrocities that could have happened if it wasn’t for the extra protection from our gallant secret services; or never given new ideas by any politicians just patchwork solutions to problems that were created by them in the first place.

Yeah I’m paranoid, yeah I’m scared (of the future at least), so that probably makes me a model citizen! Maybe I should get an award or something. But in lieu of being Knighted for being the ‘Man most likely to soil his pants’ I’ll settle instead for the warm comforting glow of a Bomb Culture Gig. And what luck! There happens to be a whole raft coming up! Yep the Summer Offensive, kicks off on Easter Sunday with the Big ‘Ol BC playing the Eggstatic! All-dayer At the Con’s Club , Aberdare (doors from 3pm). Yep, once again I have managed to prostitute my beliefs to shill a gig, it’s as if I was making this shit up for my own controlling needs... Well if ya can’t beat ‘em, eh?

Bomb Culture – Biometrically detailing all your groove-based needs

Sell,sell,sell

2007-03-21T20:19:00.000Z

In this old topsy-turny-worldy of ours an expression that keeps rearing it’s big fat ugly face, is ‘shit happens’. Now, personally I can’t say that I have actually witnessed a shit happening in the physical sense, but in an ethereal way I can say that a lot of ‘happenings’ I’ve been to have turned out to be pretty shit.
You know how it is, you look forward to an evening full of wide-eyed optimism and naive wonder, only to have your dreams shattered upon the rocks of despair as the ‘banging party full of glamorous types’ turns out to be shady little bolt hole in the arse end of shit city. What guarantee is there these days that you will have yourself a mighty fine night out eh? Eh? Well let me tell you…..The Bomb Culture Guarantee of Aural Sex is stamped all over the upcoming roster of fine gigs that your favourite cunch of bunts has up their giant wizards sleeve for you! As we hurtle towards the awesome Eggstatic night in Aberdare (see the posting below), BC are also moist with excitement to announce a brand spanking new club night, heading your way on June 14th at Tafod, Riverside, Cardiff.

Oh, yes the fiendish minds behind the extraordinarily successful ‘3000BC Presents’ night are back with the lavishly titled….’do’. Yep, its called…’do’. Although a separate entity, your Bomb Culture chums will be providing the toons along with a line-up that’ll blow your mind wider than Kurt Cobain blew his! Full details will be coming soon, but for now why not pop on down the page, click on the link to eggstatic and get yerself some tickets, you know ya wanna…..

Bomb Culture – Not just takin’ up space.

EGGSTATIC!

2007-03-14T16:24:00.000Z

First off a big howdy if you've stumbled upon this blog from the web address given on the Small Nations page! If you're looking fot toons you'll find some just to the right of this bit of blurb...Or you could pop over to the Bomb Culture Myspace page where you'll also find our up to date gig list. Now then, where was I...
So Easter, a time for the family, eggs and other such holiday related shenanigans, which is all fine and good, but I'm sure deep down your really looking for a good old fashioned banging party night. You are? Well luck is on your side as your favourite dance-based scoundrels are kicking off their SUMMER OFFENSIVE playing at the Eggstatic night in Aberdare, on Easter Sunday. Huzzah for us, and excellent news for you! Everyone's a winner eh?
We're back in the studio and a few new toons are already tearing their way out of our inspiration holes, so with a good wind behind us we should be premiering a few new 'uns at the gig, so even more reason to strap on your dancin' pumps and get yerself to the 'dare. For all your Eggstatic needs just take a peek at the poster above (up a bit....and a bit more...there you are!)Hang tight, kiddies we'll be back with news of another egg-citing BC gig real soon.
Bomb Culture - Being like, all great n' stuff

On the Road again

2007-03-05T14:32:00.000Z

To kick us off today here's a lovley picture of an enormous cock drawn in the snow on the top of a building.

The Summer Offensive is shaping up nicely folks, so it's probably best if you start cancelling your holiday plans now...With the hairy beast (best known as bass-slapping techno tramp Bert) winging his way back to blighty BC are gearing up for an intense month of jamming to provide you with the very cream of their new output...So once again I am left wih no news but a ponder...and this is it..Probably a lot later in life than the majority of the country, I have , at last sucombed to the lure of driving. Yep, I'm learing to drive! As I prowl these tarmaced streets it occured to me that if everyone walked the same way that they drove, the whole of British society would dissolve into a frenzied mess of pushing, shoving and generally being a total ass. Just imagine the next time your riding someones tail (and not in the good way) that you did this when you were walking through town. I wonder how long it would take, before the person whoose arse you were pushed up against turned and smacked you in the mouth. I ask this not because of the personal experience of driving from Hereford to Cardiff with a Fiat Punto wedged up my exhaust / colon but to help all those who seem to see a car as a tool of vengance against anyone who dares to learn to drive. Fuck you, I'll go as slow as I want...In fact from now on I'll go slower and when you start beeping that horn I'll stop, get out and pooh on your bonnet.

Well, before I turn into some hideously bigoted Clarkson type suck hole, I shall leave with the giddy thoughts of auto excretion floating through my cloudy mind...

Bomb Culture - Lapping the broth of excellence.

No Nu Noos

2007-02-25T21:06:00.000Z

As no news is good news...rejoice,I have none!! So here is delightful photo of John sporting his shiny new elastic band face. Yep, BC are still beavering away with a whole heap o' nu toons with which to tantalise and amaze, so no news....nadda...not a sniff.
I could again mention the gig on Easter Sunday in Aberdare, or how you could get the details for the gig through our Myspace page but it seems an awful effort, and quite frankly a bit cheesy.So, instead of us just sitting here staring at a blank screen, lets all go to the pub. Wherever you are, stop what your doing and go to the pub. Then you can come back and leave a comment, thereby generating something interesting to write about. Excellent, everyones a winner
Bomb Culture - Once more into a peach dear friend

Rule Shitannia

2007-02-20T22:54:00.000Z

And welcome back! My PC is finally fixed so here goes with some better late than never style blogging ....
As Mooseglove and The Hat are hunkered in the bunker at BC Towers, whilst Bert traverses the globe with his Good Lady Selma, today’s piece of bilious nonsense centres on The Brit Awards. Now this isn’t something that I’d usually watch, or comment on, but one thing caught my eye and wouldn’t let it go….In a salacious bit of old-woman style gossip-mongering I have to ask ‘Does anyone know what the fuck happened to Joss Stone?’ Didn’t she used to be a rather attractive, slightly sophisticated MOR jazz-type singer with a habit of badly covering White Stripes songs?
Well, no more as she seems to have turned into some trans-Atlantic bubble-perm hooker who can’t stop doing that irritating ‘burst into song half way through a sentence’ thing, whilst also doing that ‘If I wave my hand up and down whilst closing my eyes and singing, people will be somehow convinced that I have soul’ thing.
Now, the wavy hand thing can be seen as acceptable only because it seems to have become the norm among thick-as-shit contestants on X Factor but the whole ‘burst into song in the middle of a sentence’ thing cannot be excused. Personally I blame Lulu and her knack of being able to pretend she’s still just a girl from Scotland before blaring out that ‘weeeeeeeeelllllllll’ bit from Shout in every single TV interview since her heyday in the late 18th Century.
If you missed The Brits then you would have also missed Joss Stone proclaiming that “ Robbie Williams is an inspiration” - If that’s not the most misguided thing I’ve ever heard then Gawd Knows what is…Speaking of over-hyped End of Pier Entertainers, It’s got to be kind of embarrassing, confessing to having to go into rehab for an addiction that consists of fags, pro-plus and red-bull – As a recovering ‘stuff they sell in a newsagent’ junkie, he’ll never be able to go into WH Smith’s again. Where will he buy his DeLongisti part works from now?
I’m sure there’s more important things going on in the World that deserve the attention bestowed upon the subjects here, things such as the upcoming SUMMER OFFENSIVE Tour, or BC’s first London Venue at The Millers, London Bridge on April 21st, but y’know what? I can’t be arsed to think about them.
Bomb Culture - You want jam on it don’t ya?